The First Abandonment (Father)

sometimes i think of you

about who you could have been

about what we could have been

mom and i

and then i stop

-

because you do not define me

cannot confine me

how could you

there is barely even a .. you

i have closed the door to you many times

but somehow it creeps open even still

the lies

the begging for change

you see that's when i learned

at the mere age of 8

people they,

rarely change

...

a little girl staring into her fathers eyes

searching

desperately searching

for an answer, any answer

answers you would never be able to give me

instead i had to find them in myself

and i see you in me

and me in you

and i hate that piece of me

the self hatred overcomes me

until im reminded

without the pain you bring me

there would be no me

for I Am Strong

I Am Resilient

I Am also Unforgiving.

so I thank you,    Dad

i can now survive even the most daunting of heartbreaks

left as cold as ice

because i could survive the very first one

I am left Unstoppable.

~SV