Aye passively plead death to please release me from agonizing clutches

(alternately titled: Typical daily mindset today –
July 17th, 2020)

The following words

mostly unredacted, nevertheless finessed

for curbed poetic/prosaic appeal

lock, stock and barrel

codify, and edify (hoopfully not mortify)

any reader unbeknownst and/or familiar

with unsteady state of yours truly,

(an ordinary garden variety generic guy)

who ofttimes expresses suicidal ideations

merely freed pent up
watery melancholic thoughts

(pitted within his psyche)

to experience vicariously personal impact

how such Earth shattering words of finality

might affect (or not) an anonymous reader.

Additionally I gave literary weight

to morbid topic confounding

moost every sentient and sensate human being

unable to escape her/his ultimate demise
eventually laid claim

by grim reaper

who unfailingly claims corporeal essence

which accepted fate

impossible mission to envision,
yet as chronological orbitz figuratively accrued

heightened awareness proportionately pronounced

(at least within mine cerebral cortex)

thus teasing out mortality

to comprehend (even minimally)

such mind boggling concept.

No immediate recourse sought
to compromise, exorcise, jeopardize, et cetera

the mailer daemons powerfully fraternizing

gamesomely cavorting, ripsnorting,

and yes terrorizing

sinusoidal undulations whatsapp

pining within mine approximately

deux clenched fist sized brain

temporary organic matter

lodged within the noggin

of one contemplative, intuitive,

and ruminative Homo sapien.

Mine skeptical papa helped beget me,

a stranger in a strange land,

I experience difficulty breathing

despite pitch perfect cloudless ether

analogously steeped in foreign air,
as surviving foreigner,
one doubting Thomas

(English muffin) niggling heir.

Nostalgic reminiscences venerated zealously

violently pound every square inch,

where thinking transpires

within convolutions characterizing fifty shades

of gray matter lodged

clapping hands upon ears

renders a feeble attempt

to block deafening mind chatter.

I precariously perch
(albeit metaphorically)
perch upon precipice

staring into infinite abyss

hesitant to bid thee world

of the livingsocial adieu
trembling, kickstarting, fumfering...

apprehensive, tentative, wary

regarding permanent solution
to temporary emotional ill
afore taking leave,

where family bids me good riddance

bon voyage into netherlands

long sought realm of hereafter

abounding with peacefulness

of body, mind, and spirit.

Linkedin with hypothetical

undertaking that envisions me dead

preceding lines fell shy describing scenario
analogous to internal civil war playing out

inside formerly nasal twanging talking head,

(above attributed to submucous cleft palate)

yours truly characterized asthma worst enemy led

imagine pacifist sent into battle without mercy

futile effort foregone conclusion,
hence pointlessness witnessing

prayer for salvation, which I ne'er pled

akin to Isaac Bashevis Singer Gimpel the fool
and/or kamikaze pilot

one and/or another rushed in
where angels feared to tread.

More'n devilish tomfoolery,

I disclosed wretched mental state

no, not necessarily continuous

unbridled intense self destruction within me pate

more so chronic ho-hum ambivalent attitude
quite upsetting thee missus, i.e. me mate

more often than not
no surprise predominant moody blue

exhibited courtesy yours truly,
twould be antonym of jubilate

tis the exception when I feel
(likened to Tony the tiger) grrrrrreat!