Unable to breathe..., I chokingly gasp for air.

Far as the (ease) 

severely myopic eyes can see,

nothing but polluted atmosphere

where skull and crossbones
memento mori betokens beware,

especially with increasing chronology
mortality becomes crystal clear

existential crisis yours truly didst despair

not so much death itself, but failure

(inadequacy) at livingsocial

mine life to the hilt

plain as day everywhere

casual attitude apropos

(pertinent personal paradigm
regarding aspiring poet)
equals laissez faire,

hence the following
his apt nom de guerre

emotionally castrated docile heir.

Minimal milestones attained he

blithely professes, grants, attests,
et cetera as general rule

barely squeaked by

(think graduating high school)

weatherbeaten and rust covered cerebral tool

smartly linkedin cogs and wheels
buzzfeeding delicate threads didst unspool

above mentioned metaphor near
perfectly, quintessentially, and realistically virtual

extempore description hoopfully edifies
thee dear reader figuratively yours truly

got swallowed into vortex whirlpool.

Maelstrom pitched me to and fro
hither and yon into damndest chaos

drowned me under dead end zone

fiercest storm ever
raging across Lake Woebegone

stronger than bajillion healthy
male primates oozing testosterone

empowered with indomitable strength

downing ordinarily toxic

(even infinitesimal quantity) quinone

think beefy hulking Hercules types
built powerlifters second to none

pulsating pecks, quaking quads,
and ripped reputations

far and wide known

with versatility now

smattering of lines

constituting this poem I hone.

Invisible omnipresent nemesis,

(perhaps the Schwenksville Strangler)

appears intent on asphyxiating,
and simultaneously forcing yours truly

to experience unbearable

oppression, humiliation, and agitation,

whereby joie de vivre extinguished

provoking sadness linkedin

with remembrance of things past

agonizing, kickstarting torturing

absolute zero ability to relish the present

essentially forced to recollect

nasty, short and brutish mailer daemons

characterizing diabolical ghosts

representing nauseating, and haunting

hurtful dirty deeds done dirt cheap

courtesy my selfishness

verboten fruit tasted within recent past

now the bitter aftertaste

analogous to Scrooge

suddenly horrified about his stingy self.