suicidal

MelissaJA

I’m all talk and no action because,

I’m internally screaming

That I want to die.

I’d say it out loud but

That would be

Just a cry for Attention

Not help

Right?

I’m all talk and no action because,

I’m given all

the things Necessary

to commit,

To do what I want done,

And yet I can’t

Bring myself to

Pull the

Trigger.

I’m just a fool

Afraid

Am I just garbage?

I’m all talk and no action because,

Fear makes me immobile

Dries the tears

And turns “I want”

Into “I wish”.

Because you see

Sometimes suicidal isn’t

Pulling the trigger of the dam gun.

Sometimes suicidal is wishing

Someone else would pull the trigger for you.

Sometimes suicidal is wishing

A car might lose control

And crush you,

Or wishing a vein might burst

Inside your head

While you slept

Because then

It wouldn’t be your fault.

No one could be angry at you because

You were all talk and no action.

Sometimes suicidal

Is holding your breath

Just a little

Too long

Hoping you might pass out

Under the water

And drown.

Sometimes suicidal

Is taking one extra pill

And wondering

What will happen

Then waking up the next morning

Angry, you cry

Why the fuck am I still alive?

 

 

  • Author: Melissa JA (Pseudonym) (Offline Offline)
  • Published: July 28th, 2020 00:30
  • Category: Sad
  • Views: 39
Get a free collection of Classic Poetry ↓

Receive the ebook in seconds 50 poems from 50 different authors


Comments +

Comments1

  • L. B. Mek

    Let it all out!
    Then, begin again...
    Keep on repeating: that anxiety - frustration - pain is a source of fuel for your creativity, that creativity is a source of healing for your suffering.
    'Rage, rage! Against the dying of the light' Dylan Thomas



To be able to comment and rate this poem, you must be registered. Register here or if you are already registered, login here.