Mine conscience exhorts restitution regarding lost wedding band

Thru deliberate seductive

liaisons, ploys, and underhanded gambits,

I tendered illicit, explicit and complicit shenanigans

blatant actions to foment coital adulteration.

Ofttime these discrete liaisons found me removing

linkedin metallic keepsake symbolizing union.

Years elapsed since this spouse pledged his troth,

he sported husbandly marital vows courtesy
monogrammed nondescript ring.

Impossible mission prevails to locate complimentary

jeweled tokens bespeaking our joint monogamous fidelity.

Yours truly beset with genuine disheartened woe

no matter public affections, he never doth show

thee above stated guilty admission signifying
mine absent overtures
(indicating even marginal wedded bliss),

the missus posits as wanting from me,
a common garden variety generic Joe Schmoe.

Self awareness heightened

within mental cogs and wheels

as if of a sudden hindsight brought
into sharp focus think barely audible

high pitched squeals

nsync with and accompanied by newsreel

silently displaying story

(solely my viewing pleasure) of mein kampf

metaphorically yours truly blown to bits

while hoisting myself by own petard

vigorously spiriting and
pitching me head over heels.

Regale thee dear reader,
I strive with utmost zeal

plus cathartic to expunge, (albeit poetically)

my pathetic, quixotic,
and reasonable rhyming spiel

hoopfully mine lame literary endeavor
won't upset any spur of the moment meal

thus tis wise I beat a hasty retreat
before ye sic on me Achilles heel

versatile scouts i.e. English language
verb boss and noun sensical police,

yours truly here expert escape artist
dog gone hard to grab hold,

cuz I trumpet art of making the deal.

Proclaiming high fidelity to wife high wed

she already with child (our first)
into holy matrimony we did nervously tread

"quod erat demonstrandum"- Q.E.D.

"what was to be shown" courtesy yours truly

this once upon a time
(about two and a half dozen
Earth orbitz ago) time newlywed.

Now he frets and experiences woebegone

as testimony scratching out

yet another one of his plaintive,

quirky, somber, ridiculously shown,

herewith I attempted to communicate none

previous endeavor ever considered exemplary

yet I diligently, honorably,
and literally try to hone

elusive talent hours daily
hermetically sealed, and sequestered alone.