Śūnyatā

A Boy With Roses

In the moment a face like the waxy moon

Oblivious to the stiff vampire corpse

Was like a sunflower alone in a wheat field

The muscles were like steel 

A pricking in my thumb meant nothing

The dog was as lifeless as a quiet, winter night

With its stony, matt black eyes

Even after three sharp calls, the dog was dead

As dead as a dog can get

Dead on blood-red, autumn leaves

Crows buzzed around in the vermillion sky

I don't know why

 

I had to get away from it

I couldn't breathe and the fear of the virus

Found a home with the milk in my bones

And the certain fury in my icy heart

I went to the woods, wanted to begin again

When the sky grew dark something in my bones said

I should trust my instinct, natural animal senses

Sniffing out syphilus, tetanus, and rabies

The hand was bitten in the summer

The wound was washed with the utmost care

But stood out like a tattoo or Shirly Temple's hair

Coke and ammonia or French kisses by a lake

I love men, that's how I know I'm gay

All I want to do is party

 

A circle of witchfire burns tangerine orange

Multiplying its powers, wanting to be heard

Like a sour gunshot, like the woodchuck

Like the temper of the guy with the wolf shirt

Shit, fuck, shit, fuck, shit

It was a sick man with red, leathery skin

A red Indian looking for a particular squirrel

But also keeping quiet about the mountain incident

Near the lip of the grassy hill

Where crumbs of sunlight crept like a shadow

Over the shoulder, on the tufts of grass, blood-stained

Fleshy-pink like canned tuna, it had been arranged

I was frightened pale, crying stalemate

Bearing with time and the popular death stains

Not far from the next seaport, but isolated

I breathed life into the day

 

By midnight I was paralysed with anxiety

Feeling like I was as heavy as a burden or a dark secret

I prayed for dawn by the cool, murky waters

Being suffocated by a cascade of elephant feelings

In the rural wilderness it was atypical

Kindred, dancing like a musical spirit

The aroma of burning marshmallows spread

Like a false rumour, a giant's foot into the night air

I found a place to put the trauma

Around the campfire, telling spooky stories

I see electric-red, bloody-like faces glowing

The fire is crackling and the sound is jarring

Thick like the darkness without any white stars

I am one with the ashes and the cinders

 

Later, I think it's funny I have a curious bone

I'm drinking like it's a rule or there's a gun at my head

I've been fucked-up for five days straight

All the days, all the weeks, all the months and years

The wheel has been turning

The past is a private conversation

I won't utter a word, can't shake off disappointment

It's like a guitar song from my childhood

A knock on the door

Ulcers, waspish redness, rock and roll sores

I need a doctor, I'm a step away from death

The milky desire is contagious

I'm not fucking around like some clown posse

That's bullshit, tell the cunt-bitch I'm radioactive

Fuck no, fuck that shit

With a knife I'll stab it, I'll kill it

I see the phoenix flames, in the darkness, in the forest

It's blood-red, sun-red, poppy-red, tulip-red

Mechanic-red and helpless-red

 

The neighbour reported the incident

Whilst I was like a peaceful baby sleeping

Then came the night thunder, night rain, night problems

Night bled into morning and I couldn't get it off my mind

I'm paranoid like a pussy

I've split, spending time cleaning shit up

I woke up from another night drunk

Thinking last night was a fucked-up situation

I can't possibly say I'm sorry more than I have done

I close my eyes and it's all I can think about

After a glass of water I feel a little bit better

But I'm not complete, like niacin and vitamin b6

Warm goodness in the rat stomach

Pig-shit, horseshit, the radio's infected

Like the town's infected and no one's around

A cocktail of pretty lies goes down well like a treat

I have cold feet, so I'll pack my things and leave

But once I'm done I'm leaving for good

The sweaty afternoon passed

I tried to be as open-minded as I could

With a bone-dry throat and a mango brain

The fear had been imprinted like a purple bruise

On the fat toe of a sad Geisha

When it rained I moved like a monk's robe

The hooked staff of a bishop

Skull and bones

The rain washed away like blood, like it does

I was left muttering things like wailing winds

Fanning the flames of the donkey-mad idea

Making peculiar gestures

There was a tug at the flower base

Shots rang like water tunes, moon baked

Got a million things I want to say

I'm insatiable with hungry eyes and hot lungs

I quenched the thirst, said wild things

With a briar-like tongue

Craved the soft touch of the black beach

It was a real grievance clothed in pleasure moans

I stayed in bed, then everyone freaked out

Screamed, "Get the fuck out!"

Had to figure it out, had to sweat it out

Rule it out, scream and shout

Like a blue tongue in a whale mouth

I insisted on dying at the flashpoint, I snarled

Chary but doughty, emotional and uncontrollable

With a score to settle, I've realised I'm inflexible

Ribbiting prince frog with moon shaped eyes

Acting as if I'm not mint green and potato soft

Like a modest red moth mouth

The engine is revving and it's been lived

Wet and vintage, hydrous, like gingham

Held together by my thoughts

I have a brassy nature and a nail-thick cough

I can't stop it, the decaying flesh, body scents

My love for gas station pancakes

I'm a poet, black-belt in karate, fashionably late

With a racing pulse, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck

The debt has been paid in salty blood

Red honey-stuff

A river of red, velvet red, curtain red, serious red

Infectious red, brick-wall red, loveheart red

Sex-mad red, scar red, earthly red

Red watery pulp

The towtruck left a trail of the red honey

I never knew what it meant, fleeting madness

Fleeting time, fleeting pain and fleeting pleasure

Like hoops of yellow smoke drifting into the air

I had a bad dream, but I hope it'll pass

I can't find solace in the night

It's like trying to find a light in a cave

I've tried, riding the sea waves all night long

The silence was as obvious as a raincloud

In the west end of Scotland

It went on like a drone, unending

The silence was a pianohead, going on and on

A million things rolled into one

Trying to speak with depressed ghosts

Invisible, evil forces exist like matter being

Slaughtering chickens and making cheese

In a dreamworld, a naked October

The trees grow long shadows

I stumbled down the road, psycho-laughing

Out of kilter, I can feel the despair, toothed noises

Cutting paper like lukewarm winds barking

The look of horror shattered the last piece of hope

I went forward, down the road, looking for something shiny

I found a toad palace, ate the January egg salad

The shots were like bells, they made it

A fly on a mission to get to the counter meat

I'm not always candy-sweet, I'm like the amber tapesty

A bee in an apiary or a sheet of sand

Squeezing out the last of the grape juice

The red tint, a glow on the melon skin

I am indifferent, a voiceless tree

With a peachy, fleshy core

I feel it ten times more

The trepidation, it's a sea urchin

A spontaneous reaction

Fever-hot and glowing like the moon

Resenting the past with black eyes like beans

Tough like pith, productive, unfinished, and realistic

A missile on a clifftop with cancelled plans

Scarlet flames slipped into position

Like mirth in an ear

Everything is dreary until I get dessert

It's a sore point, I'm flustered like a river

Responsive and hyper conscious of the everglow

I tightened the girdle before harvest

Now I'm looking for a door in the void

But all I can see is blackness, nothingness

An immortal abyss, my tomb, my home

Reality is finally sinking in.

 

  • Author: Jordan Cash (Pseudonym) (Offline Offline)
  • Published: July 30th, 2020 17:38
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 22
  • Users favorite of this poem: TWENTY3
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Comments1

  • TWENTY3

    You have to be my favourite dark writer on this site. Dark twisted and full of pictures.



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