The Uneducated O.A.P

Ouch,! That hurt

My family sat around the dinner table

I pulled out my chair

And sat down

The pain

That awful pain

I slumped forward

And cried out a word

That rhymed

With luck

He's having a heart attack!

Is there a doctor in the house! 

Call an ambulance!

How could I tell them

That pain

Possibly worse than childbirth

Was caused

When I sat on

One of my

Testicles

 

 

Comments10

  • Goldfinch60

    OUCH!!!!!
    Get yourself a very soft cushion for your chair.

    First laugh of the day, thank you Bill.

    Andy

    • The Uneducated O.A.P

      Glad I gave you a chuckle, I had tears in my eyes too!
      Cheers Andy

    • Fay Slimm.

      Feeling bad at the big smile after reading this Ouch - - hope now the orb of pain has receded dear O.A.P..

      • The Uneducated O.A.P

        When you use the word orb, In conjunction with my words I know a proper lady has called in. Brandy helped ease the pain.
        Thanks Fay.

      • L. B. Mek

        'That rhymed
        With luck'
        this is so funny, some twisted notion of luck you have depicted here, lol
        fun read

        • The Uneducated O.A.P

          Thanks L.B.M, hope it gave you a good start to the day. Everything back 'two' normal now.

        • dusk arising

          Those lowering ball joins can play up awful in later life.

          • The Uneducated O.A.P

            The pain didn't hang about to long, he's about the same size as his twin brother now.
            Thanks for. dropping by.

          • Lorna

            Sorry........ laughing.......... Fay and I wouldn't know.............

            • The Uneducated O.A.P

              Wow, I made 2 ladies laugh in one day, never done that before.
              Thanks for the read,
              had to stand up to eat me din dins,Lol

            • orchidee

              I had a funny feeling it was going to be that! What pain can be worse - for men?! Well, awful pain in some diseaes too, we know.

              • The Uneducated O.A.P

                Hi Steve, sitting on one is bad enough, 2 must be unbearable.but at least it goes away, as you say, people live with worst pain than that every day, and medication offers little help in some cases.

              • Unsub

                I am trying to unimagine this whole scene! I had to think of Dusky’s piles to help me.

                Good job you only have one testicle otherwise it would have been both!

                In summary this is a load of Bollock!

                Unsub.

                • The Uneducated O.A.P

                  Thanks Unsub, sadly know all about the piles thing.
                  Regards, Bill

                • blue orchid

                  haha,made me laugh,sorry about the pain,but good you can find humor through the pain

                  • The Uneducated O.A.P

                    Thanks blue, for calling in, you gotta have a laugh haven't ya. But I couldn't at the time!

                    • blue orchid

                      haha,i bet you almost cried,after the word that rhymes with luck.hahaha

                    • MaddieJ

                      The lump in my throat after reading that last line has still yet to go away! Hoping your "orb" as Fay put it, is doing okay! I'm sure it hurt terribly, but we can always laugh about it!

                      • The Uneducated O.A.P

                        Thanks Maddie, half a box of tissues later and I'm ok, the family used the other half laughing! Lol

                      • Neville



                        One can only imagine ....

                        .... I once had viral orchitis (Google it) and thought I was dying ... thank goodness they realised it was not a torsion before they brought the knife down ....

                        • The Uneducated O.A.P

                          Wow, sounds painful down there, and ice packs part of the treatment! Cor blimey missus, and I thought orchitis was something you caught after listening to orchi's singing. Lol

                          • Neville


                            I thought ya might .... thats why I never said owt ...



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