Maintaining marital covenant bailiwick wife doth master

which prime mate affectionately called buttock blaster

alimentary explosion ofttimes causes global disaster

upon such gaseous debacle run for your life ever faster!

Yours truly (humorously dry husband)

can definitively attest,

she (thee missus) nixed, ordained,

inured, espoused blessed

discrete frolicsome liaisons regarding

shenanigans Mister Phil Ander

deviously, knowingly, and stealthily wrested.

Dirty deed done dirt cheap

trick discovered visa vis

super tramping bleep

mother 62311518 claimed,

he drove while sound asleep.

Risque somnambulant tryst

viz escapade constituting naked ape

morphed into nightmare,

when noose hung around nape

verboten fruit heed vape.

Gamesome cocksure attitude

severely irked first born

of his hereditary brood

pricked temptation concerning wedded dude

frenetic altercation begot feud

miscreant dalliance whipsawed and hewed

antics buzz-feeding carnal groove

portrayed (by "mother") as indecent and lewd

spelling downfall impossible mission daughters

envisioned their impeccable father nude

obviously he elicited false pretensions being a prude

no moral compass shamefacedly screwed

licentious transgression abominable however viewed.

The motto carpe diem liberally

translated carte blanche

get thee (yours truly)

to a nunnery sporting about

envisioned foreplay gallivanting without doubt

cavalier attitude hashtagged

yours truly as one preeminent lout

gathering rosebuds while ye may

rather than pout

adapting what me worry playbook page

linkedin to Alfred E. Neuman mad scout

infidelity Casanova wannabe doth tout

plenty of fish aside from American trout.

The aforementioned merely signifies fantastical zeal

sisters of mercy appeasing cogitating human

emulating generic garden variety common wheel

ordinary goodfella well spoken

giving his exemplary poetic spiel

reeling off inane prurient fantasy newsreel

no rhyme nor reason expressing salacious he'll

be coming round the mountain

to quench sexual thirst,

where celibacy finds mine flesh to ail.

Metaphorical libidinal longings I elevate

vis a vis authoring, crafting, entertaining...

juvenile scribblings dat ain't so great

analogous to sexual satisfaction,

employing English language

métier write engenders

yours truly to salivate

subsequently to the electronic

circular filing cabinet

readers moost likely relegate

regarding hormonal secretions I sublimate

thru writing prevaricated risqué tête-à-tête

hooping syllabification harmonious

synchronization doth undulate.