Gibbering jabbering gibberish haint no recipe to sound glib

Ofttimes yours truly assiduously tries to adlib,

but blubbers like a landlubber

at sea treading water donned with bib

(that doubles as yellow

spongy bobbing life jacket)

furiously doing doggy paddle

riding the next tidal wave

hoop fully washing me ashore to crib

if need be to dig an underwater channel

painstakingly slow drabs and drib.

The English language I simply adore

though offtimes methinks waxing eloquent

affects listeners as yours truly a bore

in record time flapping waxed lips

beholds one gordian

tongue tied knot major chore,

whereby I wanna bolt out figurative door

feeling deplorable and stuck

analogous to Eeyore.

Ache 'n to launch into a monologue

or chime into ongoing dialogue

me noggin off times generates brain fog

mental state mimicking one,

who quaffed an over abundance of grog,

which for this teetotaler would constitute

a mere thimble full of drink,

perhaps rum enhanced eggnog

just one sip and boing I go

topsy turvy as if a felled log

hit me over the head

rendering me unconscious.

Thus wood explain mine altered state

though unsightly gash on pate

battle scar leveled playing field

with the missus, 't other significant primate

supplementing and complementing

one aging long haired

pencil (vane ya) necked geek

being caged, yet free

to roam within human zoo

both, (née all) of us captive

on carousel of time

nsync with every other Homo sapien

begot to participate in circle game.

All superfluous joking aside,

I strive to groom conversation,

whereby uninterrupted flow of words

(versus fumfering, hemming, hawing,

stammering, stuttering...), thine

general oral feedback paradigmatic guide

ever diligent to think

before I speak with pride

else I heep discourtesy

upon myself and chide

yours truly with harsh rebukes,

which maybe tantamount

going off the mountainside

plummeting into the abyss

engenders an unpleasant

metaphoric roller coaster ride,

and if crash test dummy doth survive -

upon gibbet he will be tried

punishment broadcast world wide

for flagrant horrendous verbal

egregiousness (waywardness) he belied.