The Uneducated O.A.P

It was an Accident, I Tell Ya

I put up the Christmas deccys yesterday

Climbed on the sofa, as you do

Accidentally kicking the wife in the head


The following morning, when I awoke, I asked

"Has that big lump gone down yet my darling?"

She replied, " No, He's still here, lying in bed!"


  • dusk arising

    Don't worry yet mate. In the new year shes going to want to get rid of a few stones in unsightly fat... then you'll know yer numbers really up.

    Chap I know was looking at a photo him and his missus on their 50th wedding anniversay.... "look at her" he said "there's five stones there i never married".

    • The Uneducated O.A.P

      Oh lol I'll start packing,your comments are gold,. Thanks for the chuckle

    • orchidee

      Oh lol, fun write Bill.

    • Jerry Reynolds

      Good laugh


      Angela HERE ~ Thanks UAOP ~ Very Droll ~ but in my experience accidents really do HAPPEN ! Thanks for sharing ! Please check our latest Poem & Fusion ~ *CHRISTMAS PRESENTS* Thanks A B & C !!!

      Blessings & Peace to You & Yours
      Love Angela Brian & Smokey ! ! !

      • The Uneducated O.A.P

        Thanks for dropping by, much appreciated, take care.

      • Michael Edwards

        I've just had to put our decs up. A job I hate. I'm a minimalist and detest the clutter - roll on the new year. Love the write by the way Bill - gave me a big grin.

        • The Uneducated O.A.P

          We are under orders from grandson to clear the attic as he's not sorting it once we have gone, ( dunno what he's got planned) just poked my head up there and I can feel minimalist coming on, can you catch it?
          Thanks Michael keep smiling.

          • Michael Edwards

            Can do - apart from one box of china our loft is clear. I learnt the lesson when we cleared my parents house - 2 skip loads of junk.

          • 1 more comment

          • Robert Haigh

            Ha-ha-ha! Didn't see that one coming. Thanks for the chuckle!

            • The Uneducated O.A.P

              Nor did the wife, little does she know I'm after the insurance money! Lol
              Thanks R.H. Let's hope a chuckle a day keeps the doctor away
              Have fun

            • Goldfinch60

              Thank you so much for the laugh Bill, much appreciated.


              • The Uneducated O.A.P

                Thanks Andy for stopping by, Did you get to play croquet last week?
                Take care

                • Goldfinch60

                  Yes Bill Played Wednesday, Friday and Saturday, will be playing this morning once we remove the frost from the lawn.🥶


                • Doggerel Dave

                  Domestic bliss - I'm told there's nothing quite like the comfort and security afforded by two people in perfect harmony.
                  Off left you need violins gently playing; center a chorus rising to a marvellous crescendo; off right birds twittering sweetly.
                  With all that you could flog the lot to marriage counsellors as the perfect model on which to base their work.
                  Excellent stuff, Bill.

                  Take care

                  • The Uneducated O.A.P

                    Domestic bliss? Been moved into the shed, and she won't give me her bank card so I can buy her flowers, so unreasonable. Lol
                    Thanks for calling in

                  • L. B. Mek

                    made me, lmao! worded so relatable I can even visualise the blank matter-of-fact - deadpan face that delivered the line in a monotone voice,
                    I wonder if that's an acquired skill of our better halves, or something evolutionarily - innate, lol

                    • Poetic Dan

                      Fantastic reply, I saw it too! Lmao...

                      Great stuff all round!

                      • The Uneducated O.A.P

                        Gotta be evolutionarily ( gosh, that\'s the longest word I\'ve ever used) if her acting was that good she\'d be on a really serious show like neighbours wouldn\'t she? Lol
                        Thanks L.B.M. You too P.D

                      • Suresh

                        You might as well drag yourself out of bed, before the kick does it....
                        This was worth a laugh

                      • Neville

                        Ha.. that was no accident, that was my wife ............
                        most chuckleworthy Bill......................

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