Mine shaved spindle shanks indistinguishable from plucked chicken

I suddenly became aware

(although rooted motive not clear)

avoiding self castration ere

yours truly back during

forty three plus summers ago

(do the math and figure out what year)

long haired pencil necked geek

applied dull razor

to remove, (albeit temporarily) hair

covering these skinny legs.

The missus asked me

(hitherto known as her bozo)

just mere moments ago

to craft humorous poem to glow

nsync with the shiny nose of Rudolph

keeping syncopated metrical flow

thus methought to crow
about being equally as foolish

streaking naked outside at five below

so without further here I go

rattling off gibberish as common Joe

King cole, a merry old soul...

dirt poor, hence without any dough

to embellish endeavor as literary pro,

who also sought to catch eye of Mister Perdue

(yea him of agribusiness fame)

to sacrifice self for New Year's barbecue.

Yours truly repurposed courtesy rigged

easy to assemble cannibalistic spit

with large fig leaf covering puny naughty bit

meekly (née willingly) surrendered

matter of fact, I paid with bitcoin chit

recognized latest currency

ever since legal tender easily susceptible

and oftimes confused as counterfeit

money forged, smelted, and hammered

linkedin with pendulum that swung within pit.

Thus analogous to

Five Chinese brothers immune

yours  truly constituted more'n one secret boon

such fiery flames (hot enough

to melt like molten rock)

could harm not a hair

of one Homo sapien baboon

matter fact simian in question could become swell

think hot air balloon

allowing, enabling and providing me quick escape

national anthem playing as most popular tune,

a capella, I simultaneous croon

as hot embers snap, pop, and crackle

token human crisply cooking

taking place at high noon

despite the most ferocious typhoon,

no worry, I defy being drowned

survival skills inherited sophisticated protozoan

symbiotic eukaryotes since time immemorial

livingsocial within tight quarters

with not mushroom

to maneuver - oh... hold on,

cuz I will be done lame

reasonable rhyme really soon

ah... just about done

getting cooked the color maroon.