Joie de vivre cost me nothing to purchase

No rhyme nor reason why

with yours truly ejaculating

(not prematurely), I utter yippee,

nope no intercourse induced whoopie

upon this... - day three

January two thousand and twenty one

perhaps consummation,

regarding aforesaid euphoric mood

indicative I will become philanthropy

recipient i.e. anonymous lucky payee

before anniversary of this monkey

exhibiting fits and starts

orbitz nearest star

while linkedin to planet Earth

as (mush ado about nothing)

spasmodically thrashing

as garden variety generic

Homo sapien protoplasmic beef jerky.

Courtesy guilty conscience,

I verily, timidly, readily... admit

no criminal mind nor hanky panky

whereby unfettered naughty bit

no way no how frolicked courtesy dalliance

though trespassing, plucking,

and nibbling verboten fruit

this average Joe didst commit,

which extramarital trysts

cost hefty penalty fee (think debit)

to checking account exhibit

head by mine absence one night

years ago, when we lived

at 724 West Railroad Avenue

thee missus exploded livid fit

of rage found me stony faced with true grit

feeling proudly unrepentant

what an ingrate hypocrite

pledging troth after rubbing noses

analogous as flirtatious custom to Inuit.

Thus smugness and/or feeling upbeat

seems heretical (in retrospect)

cuz promised covenant chaste away,

when sowing wild oats/gathering rosebuds...

like a mad bitching dog in heat

one errant husband

upon wife did swing and cheat,

which wedded connubial bliss

more pronounced now after commiting

egregious sexual feat.

Figurative emasculation discovered

visa vis promiscuous escapades

redemption (no matter an atheist) proffered

hence an ideal place to enclose final word.