Invocation of pinkies in air when supping or drinking

I adopt dainty etiquette

when quenching thirst or dining

to buzzfeed growling beast

inside me tummy.

 

The missus requests obedience

raising both my little fingers in the air

upon taking beverage or repast to lips.

 

Additionally, she also requires I

(well healed husband who toes the line)

perform dance shuffle - think clog

feigning to trip over feet

as if yours truly quaffed to much grog

while balancing atop log.

 

Miss iz manners re: lee the spouse

sets prime example being lady like,

what with her belching and snorting

of course with mouthful of food

no surprise she nurtured impolite brood

raised on learning language crude

 

even this Geico caveman exhibits

less coarse attitude,

he likens himself to subdued dude

trying his darnedest (golly gee)

to avoid family feud

 

general behavior hashtagged as rude

linkedin with antics qualified as lewd

encouraged nsync while

slurping or masticating in the nude,

whereby other body sounds made

unsuitable for strait laced and prude

 

folks who don't take a fancy hearing

so called uncouth soundclouds exude

out body orifices considered foul,

inapropos and extremely lewd

when unless quarantined in solitude.

 

One upside of COVID-19

postprandial aural emanations

(all time favorite flatulence)

knows no outward bounds

unless colorectal explosions

register highest magnitude

 

when measured in concert

with handy dandy

blues clues rattle seismometer

and register courtesy

Richter Scale and the Mercalli Scale

direction and intensity of earthquakes.

 

Upon experiencing aforementioned prime mate

i.e. the bellowing gal offering herself as ahem

(pardon the double entendre) master bait,

I knew from the get go

Tex-Mex Connection

 

in North Wales, Pennsylvania

where we shared our first date
(outsize bean burritos)

I tooted my own horn,

she unwittingly got me into checkmate,

just for that her fate got sealed,

 

when our respective gametes

(ova and sperm cells respectively)

new life we did miraculously create

the first of two female offspring

would become housed in utero

and come to resemble

 

a spheroid somewhat oblate

even now unnamed counterpart,

(and partner in crime) still swell person

hook hood benefit to lose some weight,

cuz... well adipose freight

quite ample around equator.