Swelling Within Me

Opal Tears

My pain beseeches me.

My heart in one hand. The blade in the other.

I see the red swelling beneath me.  The ever daunting flow of begging for my last.

I will not let go.

So much to fight for.

It’s this itching within me.  This crawling beneath my skin.

 

The voice that tells me “do it”

“Go through with it”

 

I cannot.  I will not.

The peace begs my heart.  It begs the silence to overwhelm my mind.

Feel me.  Breathe in the smell of death and peace. Allow once more to feel that peace you do not know but need.

 

The screams.  The screams.

Bring me to my knees.

Beg for the quiet.  The quiet within me.

The beginning of this end of thoughts that plague me.

Begging.  Begin the unknown.

 

Bring it into me, to become what I fear.

Shut out the noise. All of the noise that slithers between my ears. It gnaws at my mind.

It is in the sun, in the moon’s gaze.  It brings me no solace but masochisticism.  Enjoying the burn.  The slice.  The pain.

 

I know it will end.  I beg for the end.  I want the silence.

Inhale.  Exhale. Cut me of my pain.

  • Author: Opal Tears (Offline Offline)
  • Published: February 3rd, 2021 01:53
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 36
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Comments2

  • orchidee

    I can't help shuddering at this. Not the quality of the poem (lol) but what's going on in it. I've heard a true story or two about it.
    Surely pains, or some pains, of human life, are less than this. But you want it all to 'go away' by getting out the blade.

    • Opal Tears

      There is always a darkness in grief and pain in the human condition. It helps a lot of times to describe the pain or desire to be rid of it by a means of physical description.
      Thank you for reading it 😌

    • FredPeyer

      Welcome to MPS, OT. So well written, I could feel the pain and I just hope it is more imagination than realism.

      • Opal Tears

        Thank you for your sweet words.
        I lost my soul mate to suicide. I manifest feelings and the experience of the loss fairly often in my poetry. I have many more to post. You’ll see a theme. I don’t seem to be inspired to write happy poetry. Lol.



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