Hanging pictures today February 5th, 2021 with the missus...

rew4er2nail

(in an attempt to cover up (overlay) fruit fly waste byproduct)

 

At four feet eleven (fifty nine inches),

the spouse longitudinally challenged

hence she browbeats her husband,

(who only stands five feet ten inches)

but boosted in height

courtesy lightweight bench.

 

He gingerly maneuvers selected picture,

(i.e. wife artfully cut from magazine),

where ceiling meets wall

(right inside apartment door)

as beloved (oompa loompa) sweetheart

otherwise known as me said counterpart

carefully scrutinizes positioned snapshot.

 

"...More toward the right
and smidgen lower down"

impossible mission quite

challenging, I feel her smile or frown,

yours truly consigned to present plight

since he pledged his troth - downtown

Norristown, Pa (xxv plus years ago) knight

 

in shining armor agreed

to secure marriage license deed

since unicellular seminal seed

planted - while sowing oats we'd

 

both threw caution to the wind

(and nine months later

after surrendering to call of the wild

proud parents of beautiful child),

she long since flew the coup exiled

her father (me) and mother

to empty nest syndrome initially riled

with painstaking sadness.

 

In retrospect methinks how role as dad,

I blundered with countless faux pas - my bad

to mismanage challenges - and exclaim Egad,

albeit silently reflecting back many years

of course now glad -

both daughters overcame being mad

 

toward him who helped beget

while gamely gamboling, scampering, romping...

with barenaked lady

of course willing poet

(thrusting shaky spear) at large also unclad

(mine eventual permanent counterpart)

bedded upon mattress pad.

 

Even while solitary bachelorhood (aye

attest said status earthlinked me by and by

completing approximately three+ decades -

whoa how time did/doth fly)

one garden variety generic guy

(who e're since being little boy

 

felt extremely shy),

a characteristic, he now doth decry

cuz being socially withdrawn,

(yea... think figurative fly

on the wall, or wallflower

mein kampf devoid of healthy development

thus fashionably late socialization went awry

 

particularly when learning contra dancing, although
juvenile behavior exhibited plying gal inapropos

became brazen and quickly learned not act slow,

when asking pretty thing, this bozo

genuflected and gesticulated...

 

ofttimes quickly made to eat crow

communicated with immediate revulsion,

(no matter I imagined myself

modest nonpareil beau)

actually eventually met young lady,

who took me as husband material "hugo

git yarself a mate" -

track played within mind (mine)

lest celibate state worse than death - ya know?

 

 

  • Author: rew4er2nail (Offline Offline)
  • Published: February 5th, 2021 14:11
  • Category: Humor
  • Views: 9
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Comments +

Comments1

  • FredPeyer

    Truly enjoyed your poem r42n, made me smile. You do have a way with words! But you kind of wandered off from hanging that picture. Having three grown kids and six grand-kids I am with you on the 'dad role'. By the way, getting back to that picture, did you ever get it up there, and is it straight?



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