Bullseye! The frisky spouse accidentally and nearly blinded me

rew4er2nail

(alternately titled: eye temporarily lost sight of reason.)

 

Yesterday - March (7th) madness overtook me

toward she, yours truly did marry,

I nearly subjected mine flesh to harakiri.

 

Yours truly (earnestly and frankly) got royally zapped!

 

Last night (exhibiting frolicsome mien),

she hurled an orange at lightspeed,

I yowled and yapped,

cuz red hotted poker raging anger wrapped

tightly around me psyche

wherein dark shadows

(think... along edge of night) got trapped

 

as the edge of night (psychologically)

violently overtook mine ordinarily

calm, cool and collected

triggered reaction, whereby I nearly snapped

ready to kill a mockingbird named A*** Robin

otherwise (and ofttimes) referenced as missus.

 

Her countenance turned ghostly white

Count Dracula summoned forth – think twilight

less than twenty four hours ago

to rectify paralyzing pernicious plight,

I wanted to learn the wife a life lesson

courtesy her tarnished rusty knight,

who plays fair and square

on the metaphorical chessboard of life

savoring bloodlust did excite.

 

Within flash doggone mailer daemon

(inside me noggin) became docile as a whelp.

 

After sense and sensibility returned,

I felt mortified at such murderous zeal

dumbfoundedly blinked

after dialing down the terrorizing wheel,

ceasing (once and for all)

poetic antics of generic schlemiel

hearty victuals for tri county newsreel

 

finding yours truly locked

even sentenced to life in prison

deadly rupture (regarding

motherless grown daughters)

time could never heal

self made widower for justice,

he would not appeal.

 

Urgency arises to air

aforementioned shellshock with Renee Cardone

the Springford therapist my soul I bare

lest yours truly could (hypothetically)

strapped (ohm my dog) to electric chair

despite no premeditation to declare

 

insanity - nasty, short and brutish existence

not forgivable courtesy loosed beast

prompting rhetorical question pertaining

to trying circumstances human err

well I could (lamely) blame outburst

on prominent solar flare

 

nsync with mine jammed cognitive gear

linkedin with rational thinking

necessitating appropriate healthcare

til death do me part

cue wizened old man holed

in walled dank lair

 

feeble minded kept within

jail cell hermitage amazingly enough

sixty plus shades of gray matter

offers yours truly ample time

to experience and/or accept personal prayer

and meditation reading, and playing solitaire.

 

 

  • Author: rew4er2nail (Offline Offline)
  • Published: March 8th, 2021 14:46
  • Category: Humor
  • Views: 34
  • Users favorite of this poem: L. B. Mek
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Comments +

Comments1

  • L. B. Mek

    'toward she, yours truly did marry,
    I nearly subjected mine flesh to harakiri.'

    'Within flash doggone mailer daemon
    (inside me noggin) became docile as a whelp.'

    'nsync with mine jammed cognitive gear
    linkedin with rational thinking'

    'prompting rhetorical question pertaining
    to trying circumstances human err
    well I could (lamely) blame outburst
    on prominent solar flare'..
    seriously, if Hollywood could convince someone with your scalpel-sharp wit to write comedies,
    they wouldn't need to combine the word with other genres (dramedy, romcom etc)..
    hilarious! and a meaningful lesson for all married men



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