Be Careful My Lover

Don't let my face beguile you. I know how to deceive fools. I know how to play the game. I've been here before, but it's not quite how I remember it. The streets are the same, but the air is different. The people are older. I am older than I was when I last seen you at the beach, soaking up the sun, working on your tan. Now I work for money and the bartender serves me my favourite drink. I receive compliments with blushing cheeks and makes notes of the people I used to love. Today I came to collect my things. I looked around the room and the moment was heavy on my mind. I thought about all the years I've been trying to be perfect. I thought about our relationship before it was ruined. The photographs were warm in my hands. My life was strewn in the sands of the weeds. How did it get so bad? I went to the lake to gather my thoughts. I walked past the junctions where I would watch the moon burn brightly in the dark of the night. I seen my breath fade away. Lifeless body. I miss him, and in these moments of grief I don't know what to do. I feel so alone, so heartbroken. I can't stop thinking about you. I've tried every escape route, but I can't stop my mind from thinking. I can't stop invading the little spaces, the expression on his face. He is my music. I always come back to him, loving him. I dribble into the pail. Leaving without saying a word. In the backseat of the car, looking out the window at the row of houses, thinking about life in slow motion. The ocean shows me things I don't know. The rain takes me home. The trees lead me to unsafe roads, but the sky has never been more beautiful.