Loony bin

I am takeing a trip down the memory lane

Revisiting the old places full of guilt and shame

Places i tried to run from - apparently in vain

Places where people claim

That i deserve every bit of their blame

For all the pain i caused

For touching their warmth with my frost

For getting lost inside my own psyche

People who said just before i left that they hope i will always find only those who will hate me

Little did they know that i found such person in a mirror long before we met eachother

If they only knew what it's like inside my mind it would send shivers down their spine

I never meant any harm

But the road to hell is paved with good intensions

And leads through the garden of razorsharp emotions

Which can corupt the meaning of every single deed

And dry your veins up to the point where there is nothing left to bleed

And leave you with the wish to keep the solid ground beneath your feet

Throughout the long cold nights without sleep

Over the course of my life there were many things i have desired

But all without exception lost their charm once they were aquired

Maybe that's why i no longer try to fly through the sky

Only to find another reason to cry or to get high

I feel like some kind of spy who whishes to be exposed and left to die

Because he no longer enjoys being sly

Happines comes and goes and sadness comes and stays

And even though it's cold it sets aflame all my days

Forcing me to chase a ghost of my hope who flickers and floats away

Down the sad lonely streets of grey colours

Which paint the devastating pictures of fallen angels

Who wanted to cut off their strings in a belief it will save them from all the grim and nasty things

But instead cutted off their wings and became crownless kings of the kingdoms of emptiness

Thoughtlessly looming over the abbyss holding their breath and waitng for the sweet kiss of death

Which is preferable to the life without the safety net of the embrace of their lover

Who left or never existed in the first place

Leaving them wondering through devil's haze of uncertainty

Whether they even have the ability to love as well as the quality to be loved

And desperatly try not to weep over their divine defeat

In a world of cloaks and daggers where sanity seems to be but a trick of a smoke and mirrors

That being said i hope that now even blid man could see that the interior of my mind where i simply have to be

Looks like a loony bin

There is a dark shadow living under my skin

Punishing me for every sin with a great malice

Like the mythical Raven sitting on my very own bust of Pallas

Pouring another glass of poison which i drink with a demon

Who only laughed when he told me

That it is my nature that everyone i like ends up shoved

And that's why i will die alone hated by all i ever loved