This fear from thinking of death-
Can't stop me to breath
But this loneliness I feel is my way to suicide,
As long as depression is my strong guide
Ashamed and silent
Maybe this life is for rent
Meditation treats my brain but soul can't assent,
Healing level cannot exceed zero percent
Face with red eyes,
One with anger, and it cries,
That one with sorrowful look,
With the evil binded brain like paper in the book
I don't know its name
That face in the flame-
Makes me wild but no one to blame
I feel antsy like a moth to the frame
No way to explain my feelings,
But I know what this madness brings
Obviously, I really need medication
But this is not a sickness, maybe it's just a trepidation
I'm not afraid of this,
Even if it's a feeling I cannot miss
Whenever I face it, I lose peace and bliss,
But still it's the one I cannot dismiss.
-
Author:
Pacifique Niyitanga (
Offline) - Published: July 12th, 2021 00:08
- Category: Sad
- Views: 16
- Users favorite of this poem: L. B. Mek
Offline)
Comments2
an impassioned and honest write, showcasing
your wonderful skill
of flexible dexterity in end-rhyming prowess
thanks for sharing!
(please forgive my rudeness, dear poet
but if I may be so bold as to suggest
if you were to switch your verses around a little
you'll find your creative rhyme scheme
morph - into a complete
standardisation of a unique, poetic form
maybe, something like this:
'This fear from thinking of death-
Can't stop me to breath
But this loneliness I feel is my way to suicide,
As long as depression is my strong guide
Ashamed and silent
Maybe this life is for rent
Meditation treats my brain but soul can't assent,
Healing level cannot exceed zero percent
Face with red eyes,
One with anger, and it cries,
That one with sorrowful look,
With the evil binded brain like paper in the book
I don't know its name
That face in the flame-
Makes me wild but no one to blame
I feel antsy like a moth to the frame
No way to explain my feelings,
But I know what this madness brings
Obviously, I really need medication
But this is not a sickness, maybe it's just a trepidation.
I'm not afraid of this,
Even if it's a feeling I cannot miss
Whenever I face it, I lose peace and bliss,
But still it's the one I cannot dismiss')
I truly mean no disrespect by rudely
messing with your artistry, dear poet
its just my overzealous and opinionated nature;
again I sincerely apologise in advance
if you find my actions in anyway disrespectful
Glad to hear from your advice. .... great thanks, this is why comments are useful and your advice is useful too.. thanks again Mek... No rude, creativity needs improvement.
Keepon advising. ..that's all I really need and thank you
Well penned. very powerful.
Thank you so much
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