The Addiction

Tribulation and vexation led to this
Fixated on decamping the mess I was in
Participating in anything
I had access to
Escaping reality is
what I would do
I wasn’t too fond of alcohol;
I wasn’t too fond of weed
I had a few drinks here and there,
but I had control you see
This isn’t an alcoholic’s story,
or regarding drug abuse for that matter
You’d probably be thrown off for what I’m about to tell you,
maybe even engage in some laughter
Waking up every day to my escape
At times it was my getaway,
at times I kept it as my slave
Posting online what I didn’t practice
But I needed those likes,
I NEEDED to have them
When someone would heart a photo that pleased
I admired the adrenaline rush
I received
And this started leading me to a downward spiral
I was easily shot by
the dopamine rifle
Scrolling through my phone all day,
I did
And I could absolutely feel the tension kick in
Almost hyperventilating like I had to stay on my device
It was as if the devil telling me,
“you are a bondservant with no might.”
Aiming to appeal to other people
through a false world
Posting many pointless quotes, statuses, & photos
This toxicity left my brain in a swirl
And looking back,
at one point I hit rock bottom
I even purposely purchased things,
just to take shots of them
I also look back on posting things regarding my faith
But not for holy reasons,
I used it for my own selfish sake,
now that’s some extensive disgrace
Because I needed the hit,
I needed the high
I had false gratification
from receiving the likes
I remember constantly
taking photos of my self
Spending hours with this nonsense
I seriously needed help
And when receiving little likes,
I felt self-conscious and worse
I was worshiping the flesh,
and depended on this for self-worth
But the Joke’s on you Satan
I serve a greater God
Who convicted me of the things,
that I was doing wrong
I desperately prayed to Him
& kept hollering His name
Asking others for help as well,
to free me from the cage
I was a digital slave
And it took some time,
it took much faith
Sometimes I felt at peace with it,
at times I had intense rage
But Jesus is a faithful God,
who will always test your patience
Eventually, the fog disappeared
Eventually, I awakened
Jesus set me free,
but it wasn’t facile to move on
It took a few years
to witness what I wanted to see gone
Now I know my worth
Now I know my value
I do not confide in vanity,
it is no longer my idol
I focus on important things
On things that truly matter
Like Spiritual things,
and the God I run after
I know I’m beautiful
Others can attest to that
In no way do I want to sound prideful, but just stating the facts
We ALL have beauty,
& gifts to offer
But put God first,
and then you’ll prosper
Now I want to end the story with this
This is the story of a social media addict
But now I am free,
and you do not have authority over me.🕊