Happy Never Ending

A Boy With Roses

I am tired of pretending I am okay                                                                            

Drinking until I can't feel                                                                                          

So numb I don't believe life is real                                                                                  

You and I were summer rain                                                                                                

Pure with every intention, lost in every reflection                                                  

Understanding every misunderstanding                                                                            

Every misconception and every game of discreet love                                              

Sheets of fluttering madness                                                                                                      

I buried the past and now I can't wash away the dirt                                                                

I hold my thoughts in empty hands                                                      

So bare, fruit when it rots to the pulp                                            

They were so hopeless and empty                                                      

So hopeless and empty                                                            

Then I felt the heavy shudder of life                                                

Thoughts weighing me down                                              

I drink the milk of your love, moon spilling                                            

Come back to me, I owe you                                                        

Drapes of bitter seed                                                                  

I never liked how your lies tasted                                  

I had to spit the truth out for my own good                                                

For so long I felt nothing                                                                      

No rapture, no bliss, breathing a nameless pain                              

It was by chance I found hope in a river of dreams              

And I woke to see the sun rise, meeting the orange horizon            

Pink flushing cheeks and paper cuts 

 

I had to survive your lies                                                                                                      

The agnostic bell-like waves in my ears                                                                  

Words I can't bare to hear                                                                                                      

I only ever wanted us to win                                                                                                    

I couldn't surrender, you know how stubborn I am                                                            

With steel teeth and an unmoving mind                                                                              

You know I have reason to talk, but you make me feel cheap                                                

So I brimmed with, not so much hate, but a certain resentment                                          

Delicate, I found it overwhelming                                                                                          

I spilled from my judgement, the part of my mind                                                            

Which knows right from wrong                                                                                          

And I know I said some things I regret                                                                          

But I still love you, that kind of love is unconditional                                                            

We love the good parts and learn to accept the reality                                                        

We can't always have our way                                                                                              

We make compromises and appreciate the moment                                                        

In monologues and ultimatums                                                                        

False promises of changing for the better                                                                    

When we are no better than we were yesterday                                                            

Because there's always another moon and sun                                                                      

And that kind of love is unconditional                                                                    

Because there's always another moon and sun                                                            

There's always another moon and sun.

  • Author: Jordan Cash (Pseudonym) (Offline Offline)
  • Published: July 19th, 2021 18:16
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 21
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Comments1

  • jarcher54

    It is both beautiful and frightful that dark experiences, or at least the imagining or recollection of them, commands so much of your work. I think I'm looking forward (for your own good?) to you actually BEING OK. You are an enigma in the best sense of the word. But don't stop moving forward.

    • A Boy With Roses

      It's not necessarily that I don't have happy times or moments, it's more just that I find it cathartic writing about the blueness of life. Just have to get it out of my system, I guess. X

      • jarcher54

        I hoped so... needed reassurance... I guess. (-:



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