Patience... 4th March 2019...

I sometimes wonder why I am here...?

My life is far from glamour's you see...

No one to blame only me... 

It took me so long to see, But still I wonder why did God put breath into me...?

What purpose do I hold...? To live & learn I'm told, but still nothing I hold...

I'm everything & nothing all at once, I must learn to trust, to listen to me...

I know I don't make things all that easy, I'm wired different I believe so It's difficult for me...

I don't want a pity party, I know it's never to late... 

My mistakes I can't re-take, My part I acknowledge & accept...

You only get one chance to make a change & accept that the decisions was yours...

Take responsibility & own the choices I made...

My ripple affect on those I love...

Never to touch, Never to hold, Only to judge what they've been told...

My story always hidden in the back, never to un-fold, Never to be sold...

One Day I hope to fulfil my deepest dreams & truly wish that my time, a time will come...

I know things can never be un-done...

The damage can't be ignored... Denial must come clean...

My honestly will set them free as well as me...

No false hope will be gained...

No love will love in vain...

Nothing will ever be the same...

The only thing  I truly know is that It wasn't all me,  I learnt my lesion's long ago, But not quick enough to see & hold on to everything going on, going wrong...

Letting go is what I done... Giving up seems to be a sin of mine...

Thinking that it would never happen to me... 

Cocky arrogance little miss know it all I would now say...

I would like to think I've come along way from that awful day back in 2010..

. And have faith in knowing that with my many wrongs, Saying Sorry will always be the hardest word that will always surround me...

Please God forgive me...

I know that I need to listen to the voice inside of me, making the choices with the right insight...

And pray everyday & night that everything will one day change forever in a really good way...

My dream, My wish will finally come though... Me being totally honest with you....