Celestial Amy

The End

Here I am again
The same as I was before
But angrier than ever 
I never felt this enraged
It reaches my womb 
The rain dried long ago
Leaving scars on my cheeks

Willingly I put my hands into poison
Believing the lies of it being hope

I can´t even bring myself to blame them
Most I told myself
They did so little but gave the push

It´s not even bittersweet anymore
It actually burns on my tongue
I can´t speak it out

So much focus
So much work
All for the naught

Fury is not even a word for it
Numb neither suits me

All I know is that I want to be bad
I want to be the evil witch
Poisoning those who dare to do me wrong
So this enrages me even more
To see I can´t do anything

Stuck in a world I always despised
Filled with envy I do not deny

For once I regret doing something

I thought I was over it
Lies was all I got
Which gave me hope
Ending in ruin

Oh I loved you
I trusted you
All of you

No matter if alive
Or imagined
Now I know I was wrong
For the first time

Not even eighty pages
Could describe my pain

Now I am broken
Not just bent anymore
As you showed me
Nothing I ever fought for
Could have been possible
At least not for me

For twenty years
You fought with me
I wish I could ask you
If you truly once stood with me
Or if it was all the fantasy
Of a lonely child 

I haven´t even cried enough
There should have been more
They are stuck in my throat
Like the words, I wish to say

Nothing is left
Everything is burnt
Everything has been wasted
For what?

There has been no lesson
Nothing to learn
Nothing to understand 

In the end
It was all just leading me back
To the same belief 
The same spot

I am sick of repetitions
They love me though
And Fate hates me

I cannot lie to myself anymore
So I give up


  • Thekkinkkattil

    Strong feelings of anger.Poetry is a means to vent it .keep it up

To be able to comment and rate this poem, you must be registered. Register here or if you are already registered, login here.