Booby trapped within apartment unit b44

Lemme titillate thee

regarding myself daily soldiering thru breastworks

read out loud to experience where dangerfield lurks

twenty five years a husband unknown marital perks

bachelorhood to die for, cuz warp and weft

courtesy webbed and wedded bliss

incorporates life threatening quirks.

 

Hazardous beyond belief

analogous crossing a landmine good grief

ensnared yours truly mistaken for Baghdad thief.

Impossible mission to step up pace

when ambling one room to another

footfalls of generic guy approximating brisk,

cuz one misstep could find me flat on back

with damaged spinal disc

worse fate than experiencing

strong arms of law reach out his hands that frisk

old meister wordsmith

merely ventures innocent risk,

yet may as well surrender self to Taliban,

who would willingly whisk

 

Garden variety Caucasian American bloke

afraid to tread amidst belongings strewn

pell mell outranking rating tornado 5 courtesy

enhanced Fujita Scale

whereat Good Housekeeping ostracized spouse.

 

As precautionary safeguard, I carry amulet

to ward off ill luck toward life and limb you bet,

especially when gingerly

taking one step after another with lights turned off

owing steadfastness to prayerful debt

intoned toward guardian angel to get

self groping in dark without bifocals

envisioning severely myopic

(blind as a bat generic guy

without spectacles) met

bedded objective where

menagerie of stuffed animals

(albeit Woodstock favorite pseudo pet),

which aforementioned Peanuts character

called warm fuzzy as sobriquet.

 

The missus bursts out laughing,

whom I damnably scoff at and berate
as I trip head over heels

cursing said spouse ever since first date
at Tex-Mex restaurant

in North Wales, Pennsylvania,

a gut level intuitive sense -

even then our sealed fate

cursed analogously crashing thru Hades gate

antagonistic altercations in actuality

displaced suppressed anger toward parents,

which father and mother (both deceased)

their sole son of did hate

for afflicting psychological trauma

regarding them furiously irate

doling out ultimatums

interestingly enough comfort found
within company of loving mate,

she weaseled compassion

evidenced by poetic prattle I prate,

whereat ye can (of course) highly rate

feedback I eagerly await.