so stuck

So stuck
Feeling empty
Why does life
Have to be this way
Can't it be a happy day
With flowers and sunshine
Why can't I smile
From inside
Is it normal
To think of death every day
Ways to kill yourself
Cleared from search history
So others can't see
How abnormal I can be
Borderline personality disorder
If only others knew
The darkness in my head
That never seems to fade
Unless I'm with you
So torn inside
Bandages can't hold together
The pieces of me
No medication
Can fix my misery
Death from oversdose
Is still my fantasy
I hate everybody
I don't want to talk
Life will be so much better
If I was all by myself
No one to expect love from
So my expectations will be low
Attachment hurts
So I write this poem
Detaching myself
From the things I love
And from reality as a whole