no cure

nothingmatters


everytime i climb back up
i wait for the fall
all the help, all the effort
feels useless
i feel useless
its my own personal hell
i am my own personal hell
like a ticking clock i shut down
maybe there was a reason
but probably not
always in my head
feels destructive 
i feel destructive 
tiptoeing around my mind
scared of what im capable of
feels like someone else
i am someone else
it wasnt always this way
guess i grew up

people tell me im not alone
i stay silent
the silent pain
the silent thoughts 
the silent cries
the silent cuts
the silence
can i talk?
no
why?
i dont know
help.
but how?
i have help
i have the meds
but i have no hope
no hope for myself
no hope for my future
why
what happened to me i ask
she was excited 
she was motivated 
she was happy
she was willing
she was 
she was
she was
who am i?
i dont know 
im trying
trying to make it through
trying through it all
just fucking trying.

maybe one day i’ll feel content
but happy? 
no
i don’t believe in happy
not anymore

 

  • Author: nothingmatters (Offline Offline)
  • Published: August 23rd, 2021 16:37
  • Category: Reflection
  • Views: 29
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Comments +

Comments1

  • L. B. Mek

    if you didn't, you wouldn't
    have bothered wording
    such a brave write,
    you would, have just remained
    silent
    and we would have never known
    to answer your call, with these
    simple words, of gifted hope..
    keep calling out
    keep writing your pain
    keep fighting and waiting
    sooner or later, you'll find the answer
    like we all, mercifully did...



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