just returned after losing my love for writing
A Young Man darts from side to side,
Stood up tall, chest out, arms to the side.
The Young Man stands: heart full of pride,
But when his future and opportunity start to coincide,
And when our eyes, eyes of others
stop to seek,
The Young Man opens his mouth to speak.
An Old Man limps lamely to get out of the way,
Eyes sunken, arms withered; like a dead rose in may.
He’s exhausted rigid at the end of the day,
He looks in the mirror and what does he say?
Admiring the facial lines and stories for a treat,
The Old Man opens his mouth to speak.
The Old Man hears with no sound; looks with blind eyes,
Yet somehow he sees the truth behind their lies.
A wrinkled mouth for a thousand stories, its no surprise
he’s drowning in fearful memories; he slowly cries.
The Old Man opens his mouth with a croak,
But the Old Man’s hushed with a frog in his throat.
An Old Man–wise beyond his years,
Has lived though all the Young Man’s deepest fears.
His life story will bring you to tears,
But the Old Man stops, before his peers.
He stands up tall: no longer weak.
The Old Man opens his mouth to speak.
A Young Man offers a hand to him,
No longer tearing each other limb from limb.
The Young Man opens an ear to him,
Listening to all the Old Man’s sin.
And knowing full well the Young Man’s eyes leak,
The Old Man keeps his mouth open to speak.
JJ Jane
2021
-
Author:
JJ Jane (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: August 24th, 2021 18:36
- Comment from author about the poem: I guess this all just came from the relationship ive seen between people in my life and how some people, irrelevant of their age, gender, race or appearance have all come from different places and each person has a different life to the first. I also find it interesting how society splits' the community into factions on occasions and the stereotype's for men and women. Like toxic masculinity and the idea that men shouldn't cry or speak about their problems, issues or things they've been though. Some people have been though some crazy things and listening to their stories can easily make anyone cry, but the courage it takes to tell them...i admire a lot.
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 31
Offline)
Comments2
Great structure to the poem and clear descriptions of the two characters I find interesting. So what was their problem?
Welcome to MPS You seem already keen to engage and comment on what you find here, so no need to ask you to. Good luck.
The two characters are my interpolation of the sometimes delicate relationship between father and son/youth and elderly people. in my experience there are many occasions where ive seen conflict arise because of the lack of communication and the "I'm better then you/i don't have to listen to you" rebellious mindset.
I guess this all just came from the relationship ive seen between people in my life and how some people, irrelevant of their age, gender, race or appearance have all come from different places and each person has a different life to the first.
I also find it interesting how society splits' the community into factions on occasions and the stereotype's for men and women. Like toxic masculinity and the idea that men shouldn't cry or speak about their problems, issues or things they've been though. Some people have been though some crazy things and listening to their stories can easily make anyone cry, but the courage it takes to tell them...i admire a lot.
these characters where inspired by my grandad and uncle, the old man (grandad) had been to war and seen many horrible things, and my uncle never showed him a lot of respect or tried to understand where my grandad was coming from --until recently.
so uhh a little bit of everything. And thank you!!
You have a lot to say - good for you. Keep at it.
Take care.
A lovely and lively view of the two men. To me, you were implying that they are one and the same man. If only we could listen to ourselves as older folks when we are young and confident and gullible! I assumed the older one had experienced something akin to war. Good to know your clues were sufficient for me to feel that without you having to hit us over the head to spell it out. The "fearful memories" could have been other tragedies, famine, pestilence, homelessness or being a refugee from a hell hole. Good work young lady, who clearly has picked up a bit of old wisdom from someone!
thank you so much for both taking the time to read my poem, and to write this wonderful comment sharing your perspective of my poem. truly it does mean so much to me and i am so glad that you've been able to make meaning from my writing.
I really love your perspective on this piece and its helped me see my own writing in a different way. thank you so much!!!
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