Can you see me

Dear Mom & Dad,
If you could peak into my mind like a window
Only then would you truly know..

I suffer from an illness that makes it hard to let anyone in..
It's emotionally crippling, and makes me feel like my whole existence is a sin..

The medical name is Borderline Personality Disorder
Spent years wrongly diagnosed as Bipolar. .

There is no cure for this devastating curse,
And I'm told it only gets worse.

Being abandoned is my biggest fear,
Yet I sabotage any relationship that gets near..

The ability to feel so intensely that I have no control 
Cry at the slightest tug of my soul..

Reading every face expression 
As if it was another life lesson..
Wandering, if I skipped ahead would I think this was a blessing?

This wasn't something I was born with or caught along the way,
Being a neglected child is the number one cause they say.

I should have been cherished and smothered with love..
Instead you were to busy with drinking and drugs..

Sure, you look back and believe you did your best
But truth is raising your child was left to the rest..

Lonely, sad childhood gone unnoticed,
Now trapped in this grown up body unable to focus..

I hold no resentment for this unintentionall disorder,
I realize we all have regrets as we get older..

You are more then a parent, your a person too,
I'm sure you would have done things differently if you only knew.. 

If the child in me could ask you one favor
It would be to educate yourself on Borderline Personality behavior. .