L. B. Mek

of Love #1



 

She’s, starting again

her tears, watering my toes

streaky makeup is dying my shirt

love’s bleeding colours

are staining my skin, seeping deep

 

‘I deserve, one more!’

She’s pleading for another chance

I agree completely, wordlessly

her fists are too tight, straining her nail extensions

acrylic bending – I reach, to glove her hands in mine.

 

Misunderstanding she - leaps, with her eyes

they meet mine, takes a second for her to realise

and she stares back at our hands, understanding

she pulls back, away - she’s, savaging her nail art

on purpose, ‘this, isn’t pain!’

 

‘Hollowed out and alone, sleeping on soaked pillows

is real pain’ she whispers, while grabbing

and shaking my shoulders, stroking my chin

with the back, of her blood smeared nails

her bare feet, climb on mine – so petite.

 

We’re, too close and if we fall - now

neither - can survive, so I relent and move sideways

till we’re balancing on the kitchen island

slowly - I lift her by her waist, seat her

on that smooth, cooling: marble countertop.  

 

Religiously, begin cleaning each ruined nail

blowing gently on her pain, she’s becoming listless

alcohol, finally gifting her mercy

I know her routine, survived it - a few times.

Unleashing a last heavy sigh, she headbutts my chest

again and again, trying: to jumpstart my heart…

 

Next scene, its early morning she’s on top

trying to reignite our damp embers, playing a little rough

pulling at hairs, scratching with dulled nails

biting lips - iron taste, of kisses drowning in crimson

blood, on surrender flag sheets

passion crimes of unyielding love’s, stubborn zeal.

 

Abruptly, she’s crying - wild

punching my chest, again

trying to break through, one more time

she daringly – tepidly, looks up: eye to eye

her squinting face - horrified, cos she doesn’t recognise

 

who I am, we’ve become strangers - overnight…

 

Been a year, and she’s walking past

doesn’t recognise me - completely, a lot has changed

I’m all tracksuits and manic beard

got my toolkit in one hand, an opened beer can in the other

I’m counting ten steps, one for each year we shared a ring

 

look back to watch twilight draping, her perfect silhouette…

 

Four years, since that fateful twilight scene

a startling knock at my door

I open, and just stare blankly - amazed

she’s got wrinkles and grey strands, I don’t recognise

she’s leaning back, wide-eyed at my shining scalp

 

slowly, she meets my eyes and her knees - collapse

 

I’ve wrapped her limp body in my arms

and follow her alarmed sister to their car

place her in the back seat, without a hair out of place

and walk back to the house, come out

with some ammonia and wine, to wake her and dull her

 

her sister takes over, and I melt back: into my survival shadows.

 

Decades - too late, and I’m at her funeral

arriving, hours

after everyone who matters – has left

dirt on her plot, still unsettled

headstone, just laying by her side - not yet placed

 

reads: beloved wife and cherished mother…

 

I let my fingers seek, melting into her grave

and whisper my final confession.

‘Know, that I never stopped loving you, it’s just

the image of you and him, snapped

something important deep - deep, inside

and it knocked out, all my lights.’

choking as tears - like waterfalls, serenade her grave.

 

 

Standing up, one shaking knee at a time

I look at my hand and notice

our ring, is missing

in its place, tattooed stain marks of her grave

I smile, knowingly

‘Ok dear, you keep it then

like my heart, it was yours: from the first…’

 

I shuffle away

making three movements, to take a step

and liking this sensation

of drying feelings on my cheeks, once again

seems like it has been a lifetime

since I felt anything this real, I muse.

My spirit, broken but serene - belatedly realise

if this, is what it costs

to love, with all we’ve got - then in a blink

I would suffer it all again, for you at least: my dear!

 

I merge back

into my shadowless state

 whistling, Bonnie Raitt:

‘….and, you can’t make

your heart feel, something it won’t

….in this final hour

I will lay down, my heart.’

Powerless, yet still - defiant

in the face, of ill-fate

grateful: till our very end…

 

 

© L. B. Mek

September 2021

Comments12

  • Saxon Crow

    By far, for me, the best poem you have ever created and shared. It held me prisoner from start to finish, if there was an absolute favourite button I'd use it on this mastetpiece LB. Truly beautiful

    • L. B. Mek

      deeply humbled, kind poet
      bless, your overtly generous soul..
      I shall cherish your comment
      and it will fuel my determination
      in the inevitable dark moments of life.
      Thank you! what a start to my week

    • dusk arising

      Saxon says it for me here too LBM. I was held, gripped all the stronger as i read further.
      Love does not go away, we hide from it when we must, we lie for it and we die with it. Nothing compares.
      You pushed all the buttons today. A favourite for sure.

      • L. B. Mek

        wow!
        high praise indeed from someone
        with such a discerning eye, thank you Dusk
        I was scared you might find it too long..
        'Love does not go away
        we hide from it when we must'..
        wise words - derived, from survived experiences
        of life, Thank you! dear insightful Poet

      • Teddy.15

        Magnificent an epic of what true love is. In every emotion infelt it all. Wow, L.B you are on fire my friend.

        • L. B. Mek

          'on fire' what warming words, my kind friend
          so very generous as always,
          it definitely felt like - epic, in length
          to write at least, lol
          I have one more and then I'm going back
          to much shorter scribbles,
          Thank you! dear Poetess I'll utilise
          your encouraging words/sentiments
          as best I can

          • Teddy.15

            I've been back a lot to read this, inspiring is an understatement this is one of my favourite poems of any poet period. X

          • Doggerel Dave

            I suppose we don’t have to judge the character of the poet to appreciate the work as good.

          • Fay Slimm.

            Agree wholeheartedly with Sax - I was captured entirely with the opening lines of this sensational saga of undying love your pen has conjoured a compelling linguistic winner for me L.B.- a certain favourite to read over again - -- and again.

            • L. B. Mek

              it was your kind and encouraging comments
              from my last scribble, regarding works with narrative
              that helped me post this write and Monday's, as a pair..
              so I thank you, humbly
              for gifting me that small but important nudge
              how very generous you are, to us all
              dear Fay

            • Neville


              both the old crow & DA somehow stole my thunder ...
              I would like to say F'ing brilliant but I suspect that will eventually come ......... Neville

              • L. B. Mek

                you already know
                just having your name, adorn any of my scribbles
                makes it all worthwhile for me
                even if its the only name
                it shall forever, be: more than enough
                to keep me going, in this tempestuous path
                along Poesy's, unending climb..
                thank you, my friend!

              • aDarkerMind

                on a scale of 1 to 5 L B Mek....

                this work of art gets a perfect 10;

                • L. B. Mek

                  oh, wow
                  you, Too?
                  this is some surreal reality, I've woken up to
                  y'all, are just too generous..
                  and for that, and for every syllable of Genius
                  you've chosen to share here, on MPS
                  I'll just, thank you! humbly..
                  so glad, I could repay you
                  with the experience of reading
                  something you can connect with
                  like you do for me, so often.
                  Thank you! dear 'Supremely Talented' Poet

                • HannahElisabeth

                  This was by far the most captivating piece of art I've read in... I don't even have a comparison for this. This was absolutely heart-wrenchingly, breathtakingly beautiful.

                  • L. B. Mek

                    'absolutely
                    heart-wrenchingly, breathtakingly beautiful.'
                    as is the Love, I was trying to portray
                    Thank you! dear Poet
                    you've summarised every ounce
                    of my intent, in sharing this humble scribble
                    I'm humbled by your depth of insight
                    and your generosity of invested Time
                    how very kind!

                  • Goldfinch60

                    What a poem, it pulled me right into it Mek. That love will always be there no matter what the circumstances.

                    Andy

                    • L. B. Mek

                      Amen!
                      although, it takes away - a good slice of you
                      it leaves behind a warmth
                      that can't be replicated
                      by any other experience: in life.
                      I just knew, that you would understand Andy
                      since you too, have a beloved
                      that's, nourished your heart with a lasting love.
                      Thank you for the supportive words, my friend

                    • myself and me

                      Wow. I am wordless.

                      • L. B. Mek

                        thank you! your wordlessness
                        means a lot to me, dear poet

                      • Dove

                        I’m impressed! I agree this is one of your best! Least it’s very relatable! I give this a million stars, by the way I found your ring! It was buried in my heart. As I knelt beside you at the grave

                        • L. B. Mek

                          keep it safe, then dear Poet
                          tuck it in tight, somewhere
                          where it won't, ware and tare
                          so easily,
                          let it last, a little longer
                          in the hands of someone, capable
                          of loving again...
                          (Thank you, my friend)

                        • Floreann

                          A heartfelt beautiful write of love..

                          • L. B. Mek

                            how very kind of you to look back on my previous posts
                            thank you! what an encouraging gesture



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