PrEm Ji




The huge buildings of that engineering college stood on steel and concrete in the University Campus. The newly constructed Auto-CAD Lab was situated in an empty corner. And we, Ravi and me, took three days to install ‘Auto-CAD 2010,’ design drafting software, in the newly allotted lot of 60 brand new computers.

On the third day evening, our department head and College Principal visited the well-arranged lab and that time I was busy surfing through the internet… Poetfreak… my madness… Ravi was snoring like a Spanish bull retired from fighting arena! I woke him up in a quick move without their notice.

‘Premji, this is not a good habit,’ HOD told jestingly…

‘Sorry... Sir’

‘The youth should come out of this virtual world…. You see…Premji… University has 100 hectares of land… what all different types of plants, flowers, birds and butterflies… what all interesting things are here to watch… You people are not at all interested on any of them… very sad indeed,’our Principal said with deep anguish.

‘You are right, Sir,’ I said.

‘You write poetry?’

‘Not exactly… Sometimes… Sir’

‘That’s good… So, the software installation is over?’

‘Yes... Sir’

‘Very good,’ he congratulated us. ‘These guys deserve something, what shall we give them Mr. HOD?’

‘Anything you like... Sir,’ HOD had no hesitation.

‘Premji… What do you want?’

‘If you don’t mind, please grant me three days off!’ (Today is Wednesday, so four days with her! Oooolalalah…)

‘Bit greedy you are… anyway granted,’ he said.

I was busy preparing my bag for leaving home when Ravi returned, that too after keeping the Auto-CAD lab key in the Principal’s chamber. ‘Please don’t torment her too much,’ Ravi made fun of me… ‘You are living like a bachelor here!’

My sons were eating my brains till late night… tiny monsters, were not at all sleeping! Separation makes husband and wife great lovers again and again! A mobile-ring can spoil a precious, passionate night! Passion, what a sweet and lovely word it is!

‘Dear, don’t wake me up till 9’O clock, tomorrow.’

‘O.K... ,’ she told while switching off the lights…

‘Who grows the fruits of passion in darker nights?’I started singing an old melody in her ears.

‘Hungry lion!’… She said and we ended the laughter in a tight lip-lock!

‘Get up please,’ she made me wake up early in the morning, ‘here is an urgent call for you’

‘Where is my phone?’

‘That’s switched off… now please talk with Ravi’

‘Bastard… from where did he get your number?’I collected the phone. ‘Hello Ravi, is there anything really important?’

‘Yes… Please come back before 12’O clock… today’

‘What? Are you joking?’



When I reached near the University campus, several Police jeeps were moving in an out.

‘Kunjikka… Anything serious?’ I enquired the watcher in the main gate.

‘Sir… some new computers were stolen from your engineering college’

‘My God!’ I felt a shiver-wave on my spine.

‘You know… they didn’t break the lock… just opened it with its own key…. Tell me, where did you keep the key immediately after closing the lab, yesterday evening?’Rahim, the Circle Inspector asked me.

‘As usual… Ravi kept it there in the Principal’s room… Rahim… Sorry…. Sir,’I told him without any tension because he was my classmate. ‘Every key is kept there exactly on the peg with label referring to which room; it belongs to, on a big plywood board on the wall.’

‘That means, Premji, they might have picked up the key from the Principal’s office earlier… and made a duplicate… The original key is still hanging there on that board….,’ he started breaking his head analyzing the crime. ‘That means that the thief is from within’

The enquiry was going on in faster pace and I tried to collect maximum details of the notorious guys in the vicinity. One day, some of my colleagues were busy discussing about a new second computer shop in Kochi, where almost new computers were available at cheaper rate. I collected their address and reached there in that evening. The sales department people were very happy to deal with me and they offered the best price. I checked the machines.

And on the very next day, the most popular (notorious) gang in the University Campus were arrested by Rahim, based on the information transferred by me. They had opened a second hand Computer shop in the city just to dispose the sixty computers with the help of their friends who were in computer business! What an idea! 

The students… totally six members… they were standing in a row, heads down, in the Police station. Rahim and I, we were busy discussing something inside his chamber. Suddenly, he was summoned by DGP and before leaving he called the Asst. Sub-Inspector (ASI). A tough old man in uniform, nearing the age of pension, appeared there in no time. He was notorious for his skill for ‘interrogation’! Wonderful muscles he had even in the fag-end of his service.

‘Samuel… see, I have to go out now…. You just… bring out the truth,’ Rahim said.

‘Understood Sir’

‘Good,’ they laughed. ‘Premji… you can see the whole episode from here,’ Rahim told me while leaving.

‘OK Rahim’. When he left the chamber, I repositioned the chair.

‘Bastards… lift your heads up,’ Samuel started his specialization: ‘bloodless psychic surgery’ with a long cane in hand. He was a notorious ‘intelligent torturer’ during the period of emergency in the seventies. How many youth were crushed under his boots! He started asking their whereabouts…all were from very rich families and at last Samuel located him, Anzil.

‘Bastard… your father is a personal friend of mine… What a nice man he is… and you son of a bitch… He has money even for another five more generations… you steal things instead of studies… Bastard… you better kill your Dad.’

Anzil stood like rock, looking downward, without any change of expression on his face… no matter of repentance!

‘Why did you commit a crime like this?

‘Crime? I was totally helpless Sir… You know… Sir, I have a 1000 CC imported Kawasaki Ninja bike,’he opened his mouth and started talking as if nothing had happened or he was totally innocent! ‘it has a very poor mileage of just 10 km/ litre… Dad gives just Rs. 500/- as daily allowance… Sir, please tell me, how can a youth like me survive on that meagre sum? Just one round inside our Campus, Rs. 500/- petrol will be over… Sir, I have to give treats to my girlfriends… Now-a-days girls are very cunning… Sir… they eat only expensive Ice-creams… watch movies only in multiplexes…. even though they drink porridge at home… then I have drop them in their homes… then I have to have snacks, beer, cigarettes with my gang… I like to eat royally from outside… life is hectic Sir… you know it is very expensive… Sir, petrol is my worst enemy… without money, you are absolutely waste…Sir,’ he was narrating as if he was talking with a long-time friend.

‘So…Anzil…Tell me your daily expense? Samuel asked quite coolly… after all he is the friend of the boy’s father!

‘Sir, petrol expenses is of around rupees one thousand… maintaining my girlfriends another thousand… for friends another thousand… and another five hundred for my food and personal health-care… Sir, I love to spend three hours in Gym… I have to find out some three thousand five hundred rupees daily decent living in my college…Sir… but… you know… I go there only six or seven days in a month…Sir,’ he kept on talking.

‘So, what is your monthly expense?’

‘Not up to your imagination, Sir… approximately some twenty five thousand… that’s not enough… and other expenses extra… that’s all,’ he said, living out his tension…

‘Pataarrrr’… ASI Samuel slapped on his left cheek… He saw almost all stars in the Universe! The first and finest slap ever in his life! Poor guy, he lost all the confidence that his father would come and save him! Jail…jail… everywhere!

‘You… Son of a bitch… I have 32 years of service in Police…. and my salary is less than half of your monthly expenses… You know, I can collect only ten thousand rupees as net income after all sort of deductions… And with those ten thousands, I meet all the expenses of… mine… my wife … my aged mother … and three grown up daughters…. Bastard… and you are saying… twenty five thousand rupees is not enough… for a month,’Samuel was shouting like an enraged gladiator…

‘Bastardszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…..,’ the canes started hissing like Cobras….


  • Author: PrEmJi PrEmJi (Pseudonym) (Offline Offline)
  • Published: September 10th, 2021 12:53
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views:


  • L. B. Mek

    so many 'bastards'
    I guess if we call everyone bastards, eventually the original meaning will be lost
    and it can maybe evolve into something less, negative..
    as a 'bastard' reader, I thank you for sharing such a 'wonderfully' bastard story, dear 'bastard' Poet
    (lol, forgive me
    I couldn't help but try and have a little fun..)

    • PrEm Ji


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