Gonifs and gossips...

Abound and lurk

within every nook and cranny

analogous to some annoying pest

here at Highland Manor Apartments.

They snatch and snitch packages -
meant for other than themselves -
think Grinch who stole Christmas

plus snoop, i.e. eavesdrop
big Dumbo ears as listening devices
(batteries not required)

or serve as rumor mongers
to don self importance

and trumpet "FAKE NEWS."

We (yours truly and his misses)
dwelled at aforementioned residence
about five plus years,

and no sooner did both of us set foot

on premises than hearsay

immediately promulgated
(metaphorically swirled about our heads),

and passed like greased lightning
thru the robust grapevine

purportedly wife of mine

brought in live snakes.

Oddly and interestingly enough though,

I never actually never heard nor saw

a fellow resident

talk (or whisper in hushed tones)

about me outright.

Rather than badmouth other feisty folks,

which leaves unpleasant virtual

aftertaste described as phooey zook,

thus comeuppance to reprobate recipients

I activate viz cluck

king silly reasonable rhyme,

(so keeps head up
for urbane adverse city slicker

you better watch out

(...better not shout...) just duck

and run for cover cuz poet took

effluvia enroute spouted by word huck
stir, he avoids naming

(chatterboxes whose lives

so devoid of meaning,
they figuratively kickstart tittle-tattle),

who vocally ramp up some juicy tidbit

taking page from former president playbook

letting their lips uncontrollably run amuck

totally oblivious to credibility factor

buzzfeed initial kernel of truth and truck

outrageous zingers suitable for National Enquirer,
tragicomical, cuz mistruths
courtesy tenants exhibit chutzpah to pluck

farfetched outright lies and innuendos

rolling of tongues of occupants such as:

"Bible Thumper/Holy Roller,"
"Bingo/ Phat Cathy,""Crooked Old Man,"
"Curvy Girl/Thunder Thighs," "Frumpty Dumpty

"Mush/Smash Mouth, "Snaggletooth,"
"The Bodyguard," "The Fossil," "The Schvartze,"
"Winkle," and last but not leased "Zha Zha”.

Give me fruit flies, mice
and/or roaches any day,
or give me death!