Later

I can’t be the only one

Who thinks about a ton

Who wants to run away from their future and their tomb

Who wants to stay at home; not grow old

Not think about scenarios untold

This is old

I don’t like being bold 

I like staying in my shell

Knowing everything is well

Knowing everyone I ever met wouldn’t go to hell

Now, who would understand

All this pain that I have dealt; to myself

All these thoughts running wild, trapping, like a cell

O well, yeah that’s what I used to think

But nothing’s well in my mind, just good old memories

That’s all I hold, I hold on to past

Thinking if I do, then this would all last

That I’ll bask, in the shine of my soul, as I grow old

NO; I don’t want to be told

All these things about the wisdom, or the money I could gain, all the things that I could witness, stepping out of this insane...

NO; I don’t want to move forward and grow old as I’m told.

I want to believe I’m someone special 

who has a certain hope, 

that this is all fake 

and we could just go straight home

That I’ve have this option, not to grow old, like I’m told.

What’s the joy in that, 

I mean sure we get more opinions, that’s a fact

But I’ll lose what I love, 

My family, my dogs and a couple of numskulls, I just can’t

The thought would drive me mad!

I literally count the hours of how long the day I have,

That’s just the way, I’ve been living these years

A way that I have clung to,

feeling all the tears,

feeling all the fears

I’ve tried to stop,

but then it starts again,

getting married, start a family, have a husband and have a son.

I’m so done...

I want time to be gone, 

or to have somebody to hold me and whisper it’s ok,

that I could move on with a smile on my face,

with no hate.

Is that too much to ask,

I need you too soon, don’t know how long I can last,

please…

Do you think you can do that?