Milk Cartons

The voices in my head sometimes are like the sound of a shot gun in the heat of the night.

sometimes I don't know whether to duck, dive, or to hide from the demons that live in my mind.

I have never told any one about the voices, to afraid to let anyone get that close.

Am I frightening?. maybe its a ploy, maybe its a disguise to hide that scared little boy deep inside my chest.

while my heart goes boom boom .... boom boom... its the only drum beat I know. When I try and march

I find myself like the drum that beats deep in my chest.. alone..

I have associates not to be confused with friends cause friends don't let friends drive intoxicated, or be intoxicated alone. 

not to be confused with drunk either. I mean intoxicated with life's challenges with life's bull shit

the shit that holds you back. The trials and tribulations of the roadblocks sat out all over the city of life.

It never fails it seems there is always a cop at each road block to give you advice or tell you your a failure. not to be confused with a cop with a badge. but a person there to help you see things from a different light, then they vanish.

a person that may wave at you when they see you at the store, or they may act like they never saw you, walking swiftly with their head down.

I have learned about associates in my life, I see them at the gas station, at the movie theater, at the grocery store.

not to be confused with the person behind the counter working, but friends. I see them everywhere some say hi and some say nothing.

most walk with their head down like I have the plague and they could catch it by acknowledging my existence. Maybe its their existence that is diseased. 

some of these people I thought would be friends forever yet they vanish like the little children I used to see on the back of milk cartons.

I often wonder what happened to them "Have you Seen me" post on the back of milk cartons.

have we entered a perfect world where little children never disappear any longer? Maybe we don't see them anymore

because there isn't enough milk cartons available to post the pictures of all the missing children.

not to be confused with the little children that are missing from their family's but the little children that once claimed they were my friends

From my life for one reason or another they are not found. They are missing, Or was I the one that came up missing?  I wonder if I posted a

picture of me on a billboard saying "Have You Seen me" how many would tuck their head and keep walking?