Hey Violet, I Remember You

There, not moving an inch                                                                                          

You're as still as Kritios Boy with that deadpan look                                                    

Uninspired and gloomy in a poetic trance                                                                        

You must have stayed up all night again, brooding                                                              

In this internal tug-of-war with déjà vu, you're losing bad                                                      

And my thoughts are wild vines colliding like spitfires                                                              

I can't digest the heat, the blood soaked mouth crying out                                                  

The silk of my blood reaches to a foam, and you look in the mirror                                

Staring at your blank eyes, your teeth, your shapeless face                                                      

But you don't recognise yourself anymore, just this déjà vu                                                  

This old friend not speaking but saying hello

Everything is so quiet in this room of torture, I can't bare it        

My breath limps to a halt, a solid wood remembrance I nullify                                    

Raindrops pouring out of the black night sky                                                          

Peeling away at the surface of the façade to reveal                    

The dream never ends, but in that impossible rabbit-hole swirl                                            

I'm conscious, I'm not the lucky one, and it's unfortunate                                                      

You left me stranded on this island with no fruit                                                          

And now I'm tangled in the orange roots of your love                                                        

That penetrating hook of sweet nothing                                                                          

Just like we dreamed, leaves blowing in the wind                                                    

I am white and bloodless and afraid of the hour                                                                  

I can't take the pain any longer, that eternal ache I pacify                                                    

I feel it grow like fungus and I think I'm dying            

I feel more little than I ever did, praying to a false god of hope                                        

A storm of memories with steel boots telling me lies                                                        

I'm thinking of words like diet, wax, glass, ark, because                                              

When I think of words they remind me of you                

It doesn't matter what I think, I'm not important                

I've never been disciplined, never won anything                                                                

I never did make it out of that barbed wire                                                                  

In a dark lake with no air 

Everything is catching up with me                                                                                

White flames and memory tinders in a rut                                                                    

And I realise I've been biting my nails again                                                            

Anxious in my daydream, thinking much about nothing                                                  

Life was never invincible, just a string of time in which                                                  

We aimlessly think in a daze                                                                                      

Mother, your love is atemporal and I'm sorry                                                                    

I've always been an encumbrance                                                                                  

Father, your absence was the highest mountain                                                                    

I could never climb through those lost echoes, those throes                                            

Eyes meeting and fears slipping away                                                                                

In and out of taxis and stopping at every beach                                                            

Just to watch the sea, obsessions in textbooks                                                                

I dissolve, I sculpt eyelids, pits                                                                                

Marrow.