The Answer Machine

Please leave your message after the tone, though I’ll probably never get back to you.

Paul- Phil here, can you drive a car with three wheels.
Paul- Sheryl, I’m leaving you for a Canadian lumberjack, don’t try and talk me out of it.
Paul- Micky here, that bird Tasmin you hooked me up with, she wants to try the buddha position, what the hell is it.
Paul- Phil, I’ve been arrested, fucking fifty quid in the licence, you dickhead.
Paul- Sheryl, you would just let me go off with a Lumberjack, you bastard.
Mr Bell, do you know you’re entitled to five thousand pounds for that accident you had three years ago. Phone us.
Paul- Linda here, I’ve left Tony, can I crash at yours for a few days.
Paul,-Nurse Jackie here at the Psychiatric  hospital, just an update from the doctor, he’s still in two minds.
Paul,- Phil here, can you come and bail me out.
Paul--Sheryl, I’ve dumped the Lumberjack, going out with Hans now, my soul mate.
Paul- Tracy down at the STD clinic, your tests are clear, and no, I don’t want to celebrate with you.
Paul-  Micky, that Tamsin's a guy, what the hell is wrong with you.
Paul- Phil, are you coming or what.
Paul- Linda, We’re going to give it another go.
Paul, -Sheryl here, I’m giving you one more chance, I could have my pick of  guys, why the hell I picked you god only knows, I’m coming round now.
Paul-This is the sunshine holiday retreat company, your immediate sabbatical is now ready when you are.
Paul, nurse Jackie here at the Psychiatric hospital, is the doctor at yours.