Abstinence/Abuse

The itchy feelings across my neck sprouts profoundly as the longitudunal abstinence journey I have embarked upon prolongs,

The urges grow in intensity like a desperate call of hunger or thirst,

Ever-long periods of consistent abuse and usage feels years past as I look deep into a 'clean' future, 

The eternal highs- The rock bottom lows ; it always dulled the experience of my mechanical being, 

Blood flow accelerates as I observe others bathe within its abuse and yet within the jealously I am reminded of my past trauma,                                               

I want it back yet I cannot bare to reside within the same purgatory, 

Like a bird that cannot fly,

                             A fish that cannot swim,

                                                       A cigarette which won't burn,

I feel lost in achieveing in my purpose; without it life feels longer, emotions feel more intense and my body even more brittle. 

Perhaps in order to overcome i must face it             

Your embrace......