But He Wasn't Real

Cali Kittana

It was our freshman year when we met
Him and I had  just ended relationships
You didn't want me to be his rebound
But he wasn't real, was he?

You gave him my number
I waited patiently for him
He wasn't a fast texter
But he wasn't real, was he?

He knew more about me than you did
I told him things I'd never told anyone
He seemed so helpful and understanding
But he wasn't real, was he?

He would disappear out of the blue
When I would crush on anyone else
Even if I had begged him to stay
But he wasn't real, was he?

He would never call or visit
He stood me up on our only date
He always had some sort of excuse
But he wasn't real, was he?

I only had one picture until Junior year
That one I reverse image searched
The pigeon mask was so fun
But he wasn't real, was he?

I made him a Skype account
His sister cut his laptop charger
And his dad took his phone away
But he wasn't real, was he?

You and I stopped talking for a while
Suddenly he disappeared again
When he came back we had made up
But he wasn't real, was he?

Now that we're out of school, he's gone
I hear nothing about him anymore
Or how his sisters are doing these days
But he wasn't real, was he?

I ask you once in a while about him
You never seem to have a real answer
How could he just abandon his best friend
But he wasn't real, was he?

I went to his work one time to see him
I wandered around but didn't ask questions
Given it was just a retail store he worked
But he wasn't real, was he?

I invited him to go to Homecoming
When he got grounded, you got the ticket
Neither of you showed up that night
But he wasn't real, was he?

You knew how I had felt about him
The fact that I still regularly ask
He was one of my first loves
But he wasn't real, was he?

We had planned a whole life together
How our wedding would look
Down to the names of our kids
But he wasn't real, was he?

The way you talk to and about me
To me and to other people
Reminds me of his compliments
But he wasn't real, was he?

I've tried to trap you, to get the truth
Each time I try, he somehow shows up
But only for a couple weeks at a time
But he wasn't real, was he?

While the pigeon one reverts to a shop
The other picture leads me nowhere
So who is that, is it my kitten, Jaden?
But he wasn't real, was he?

You both knew how insecure I was
I just wanted to feel pretty and wanted
I became Doll, someone he could show off
But he wasn't real, was he?

Once in a while I still dream of him
Of how sweet he was to me
The way I was his entire world
But he wasn't real, was he?

He made me set crazy high standards
Ones I would never find in anyone else
That was the plan all along, I conspire
But he wasn't real, was he?

He was going to be so many firsts
First kiss, first date, first time
Yet he never seemed to make it
But he wasn't real, was he?

  • Author: Cali Kittana (Pseudonym) (Offline Offline)
  • Published: October 28th, 2021 19:45
  • Category: Reflection
  • Views: 14
Get a free collection of Classic Poetry ↓

Receive the ebook in seconds 50 poems from 50 different authors


Comments +

Comments1

  • L. B. Mek

    such a detailed and stark accounting of a seemingly monumental, betrayal
    imbued with passion..
    thanks for sharing



To be able to comment and rate this poem, you must be registered. Register here or if you are already registered, login here.