You see me from your shadowy vantage
As I lie here so weak in this comfortless night
My warm, spilled blood is your coveted perfume
Bringing you here silently, with deadly intent
The stars shine brightly and sparkling
Just like they have always done
And I breathe in slowly and shallow
The frigid and lonely night air
Am I dreaming now… I don’t know
My pulse is unsteadily quickening
As I catch your hungry and brazen, cold stare
Imbued with all nature’s indifferent design
Together in this night, is our darkening fate
Will you guide me, help me find my way on
Have you come here perchance, with any desire to help
Or will you wait here in silence until it is done
I sense it will not be much longer now
Won’t you come and sit with me as we wait
I won’t put up a fight if you’re eager
It would feel nice to have someone be near
We don’t have to speak of the inevitable
We don’t have to say anything at all
Pretend we are friends and we shared a good life
Just be close for a moment, ere I go into the night
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Author:
A.H. Browning (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: October 31st, 2021 11:52
- Comment from author about the poem: Note: (The picture that accompanies this poem gives this writing its true meaning. If you are not signed on as a user, you will not see the picture of the menacing wolf. I chose the picture of the threatening wolf as a metaphor in this writing. My reasons for this poem are next)….. You get a phone call from the one person you love more than anyone else. They quietly say that the doctor just told them they have stage 4, terminal cancer… and there is nothing that can be done. Perhaps you find yourself frustrated beyond words as the loved one you’ve known for so many years, is now slipping into the often, soul crushing stages and symptoms of dementia. Maybe you are waiting for your daughter to call you when she arrives at college. Instead, a patrol car shows up at your home to let you know she just died tragically in a car crash. Or, your brother, his wife and children take a well deserved and wonderful vacation. Later, on the news, you see that their plane went down and everyone on board was lost. I didn’t know why I was writing this poem while I was drafting it. It was only after I finished writing it, that I understood why I wrote this and what it means to me. If we live long enough, it is possible there will be situations and circumstances that none of us ever want, until they unexpectedly show up and try to crush or undo our lives. The kind of situations I intend to reference here are those situations that we find ourselves powerless to prevent. Situations where there are no “good options”, no escape and no possible desired outcomes. This poem is my feeble attempt to describe that “moment” when we suddenly realize that “this is it”. I can’t ignore this situation, I can’t change it, I can’t wish it away or pray it away… “this” has actually happened or perhaps is currently happening, whether I want it or not. Another earlier poem I wrote, “Through Sleeping Trees” was an attempt to metaphorically describe a person’s journey with a life-threatening disease. This poem, however, is not about “the journey”. This poem is about the moment when we must “accept” something we absolutely do not want. Having said all that, I hope we can all embrace life, live fully, love, have faith and if you have to accept a situation that is beyond heartbreaking, know you are not alone.
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Comments3
I suppose there are many ends to life, though the worse one surely is there's nothing we can do for you. I suppose some draw on their faith, some may not even mention it to others. Likewise, I agree life is for living to the full, since we never know when our time is up.
Thank you very much for reading and commenting. You are right in saying, “life is for living to the full, since we never know when our time is up.”
These thoughts have been rolling around in my mind for a while.
My favorite drummer, Neal Peart died from glioblastoma, an aggressive form of brain cancer, on January 7, 2020, in Santa Monica, California. He had been diagnosed three and a half years earlier, and the illness was a closely guarded secret in Peart's inner circle until his death. His family made the announcement on January 10.
This was never disclosed to the public during his three year battle. He chose to live life, as fully as he could until the inevitable.
There are many who have lived through this inescapable tragedy and simply had to get on with life making whatever sense of the future that they can. That's just the way it is. What goes around, comes around.
Meantime, live your life to the full.
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