Conviction and Torture

As I grow I pass as cynical

I feel as if to grow my loneliness is pivotal, day in day out “ fitting in ” just an average joe ritual. 

I don’t mean to demean but I’m so disappointed in myself to the point the best parts of my life is only when I dream. 

In this world I been a good jester but I have failed to acknowledge my potential to be king. 

In my past I’ve learned the hard way of how to be a man but I still act like an ass. If I changed I pray for the better a genuine soul but a man with class. 

The underground zero turned to a underdog hero. I been looked down on I been patted on the back either or I find myself unsatisfied what more do I lack. 

Fail, fail, fail, and fail again smile when they laugh my fate is my hands

I know, I can, I know I can , I know I can. 

I breathe these words and I wake up and try and I tray until I bleed and it hurts.

Im Broken hearted, I’m judged, I knew when we started I can love but can not be loved. 

I find monogamy selfish and I feel like an anchor holding someone back. So I cut ties I go about on my path. 

I have a vision and a mission for success my lack of faith leaves me stressed making me fight for a great life but wishing for a better death. 

Time waits for no man I make memories with all  and my heart feels heavy and stabbed when I leave. 

My attachment I made me weak but I’ll never admit to defeat it’s me vs the world and I’m back on my feet.