Time to Breakup?

I studied through the tears,

I slept through the pain.

I buried my anger in every cruel way,

I satup from nightmares.

I put on a fake smile,

Nobody knew the reason why.

I was fighting inside,

yearning for a way to be set free.

I was trembling inside,

awaiting the unwanted gleaning eye.

Why did they have to push away, the person keeping me strong?

Why did they push away my chance at being burned from betrayal?

Why do they control me every step of the way?

I know they mean well but what about my say?

Now I sit here, squirming in anxiety,

Hoping the person I care about accepts my alternate reality.

Agrees to be together with all the risks,

Accepts me with all my nicks.

I shouldn't care this much, I know,

He is just a part of my life now, he'll go.

But I can't help myself, I just care more,

His naivety just melts my heart more.

His adorable nicknames, his caring eyes,

His innocent mind always calms the demons inside.

I let down my walls, I broke my oath,

I spoke my mind, I defended us both.

Tell me, am I expecting too much?

Am I a fling, to be forgotten after a touch?

Somehow I don't care, I long for his touch,

I get jealous, when he talks to someone too much.

But if he denies my alternate reality, I'd have to let him go,

Make my heart stone, while others take a tour.

"Oh you poor girl!" "Oh how bad!"

Why did they have to find out and get mad?

This guy is metres away and still making me mad,

Tell me, should I let matters out of my hand?

Accept the reality and the pain,

Am I falling for this guy in vain?