Not absent - still here!
Keep Calm and Carry On Poeming. 😂
So have you heard of the Darwin Awards?
You would like some explanation no doubt.
The concept is honest which I applaud,
So let me tell you what it’s all about:
Darwin Awards salute or honour
Improvements to the human gene pool;
But some might not perhaps find humour
In the stupidities of a fool
Whose exit was due to an accident
Resulting from actions by his own hand.
However this manner of incident
Allows more room for a populace so crammed.
Whatever your ethical objection
Nonetheless this much at least must be said:
Self administered natural selection
Means no idiot genes survive when dead.
Two examples will now be provided
In a form without subtlety, quite bold.
A limerick is very well suited
When these kind of misadventures are told:
A young man had a gun on hire
Which he could not get to fire;
He looked down the barrel,
Gave the trigger a fiddle……..
His end was really quite dire.
A motorized handicapped man
Was a joker who had a plan:
Found the lift doors were closed,
Rammed the doors quite composed
And went to his end with élan.
There’s also a special category
For those who did not manage to go;
As the try was unsatisfactory -
They’re termed ‘at risk’ survivors and so:
A snake handler, Gordon from Darwin
Had lingered far too long at an inn,
Picked up a king brown snake
Which bit him in a shake
And as he bagged it bit him agin and agin and agin… x9
He’s either a sinner or a saint;
If a sinner then less drink and more dinner.
But not sure which he is and which he ain’t -
If a saint then mortification of the flesh is a clear winner.
-
Author:
Doggerel Dave (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: November 16th, 2021 19:37
- Comment from author about the poem: Perhaps I have incipient sociopathic tendencies, but I find the whole concept really entertaining - Google ‘Darwin Awards’ and see how you feel….
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 20
Offline)
Comments6
Doh! It happened to me. I tested out the guns for Russian Roulette. The first one was the live one!
You didn't do the graceful thing though, did you orchi? You whipped the carpet out from under Mortality and stuck around - mind you, any immortal who has been here since 1066 must have deflected threats to their condition many times.
So thanks for taking a moment to relate this particular incident, although from your perspective it was only a minor passing episode.....
Am I reading, between the lines, what you found so attractive to staying down under. Drowning in the gene pool?
I'm not quite sure dusk, whether to take personal offense at that, or take offense on behalf of all Australians - actually, I don't think I'll bother, the place is infested with Poms anyway..... 😊
This is one o them educational poems innit .. the kind they recite part way through the intro phase of a clinical risk management workshop .. I reckon I got the gist but am off to Google any old how ... N is 🙂 here
Oh definitely eduficational, Nev – I felt impelled to inform those wishing to enhance, memorialize their lives with the recognition which so very much attends awards such as the VC (don’t ask) or the DCM (Don’t Come Monday) in order that they should be fully aware of the rigorous conditions which must be fulfilled in order to be even considered for a Darwin Award.
What does one do about those that are positively not intelligent but just a shade above absolutely stupid and are thus still around. OOPPP!!! I just realized we were not to speak about ourselves
Nah Suresh - speak by all means, don't feel inhibited. No rules apply here. However a series of minor misjudgments doesn't necessarily qualify one as stupid....I make them all the time.... minor that is.... I mean really minor............................
LOL...I love the Darwin Awards and I really love this hilarious poem Dave. Nice work.
Thanks C. , same goes for your latest. Just paid a visit - I hope to be entertained by many more.
I came a little late to this party but have been a student of the Darwin awards for many years. I was hoping that they would have the Darwin Academy Awards, I'd rather watch than read about it. Entertaining poem set in good rhyme.
It woz a long time ago I gave a free endorsement to the Darwin Awards. I hope they are still operating. I very much suspect they are... the principle is, after all, irrefutable.......
Thanks for the call, Soren - nice to be reminded of it again.
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