Nicholas Browning

Dreams of Life Unlived

I have become the stagnant brine,

Creativity has become my prison.

Every day I sit and stare

Off into space without much care.

 

My foundation was curiosity,

The wonders that life kept hidden.

I've seen a few, and so close they were -

Amongst women, children, and men.

 

I am a slave to enthusiasm,

Held captive by indecision.

Wasting away years simply spent

On keeping everything the same.

 

If what I seek has not been found,

Then this balance is limitation.

Fleeting wants and needs sustain

Self-loathing, and inhibition.

 

Am I to remain the head held under,

Am I to rejoice in my lack of choice?

Am I to attend the ceremony

Never once using my voice?

 

If I speak will I find solace,

If so, will comfort ever reciprocate?

If I inherit the will of great men now gone

Will I rise above this looming grave?

 

If I give in to that daring risk

Or that fervor and its passion,

Will all I've built come crumbling down

Like castle walls amidst the grey;

If I stray any farther from this path outlaid

Will I face death before I've lived?

If I concede to fate's ill temper

Will I ever be able to change?

 

Can I elude the frothing jaw of greed,

Is it befitting to ask for more?

May I find hope alongside the hapless,

Or affinity among the lorn?

 

With all my effort I've strived to etch

This yearning into my being.

My family, friends; I love them all -

But something is always missing.

 

This fear cannot subdue persistence,

I've already wasted too much time.

So before I fall to dread, I'll resist -

And I shall take this life as mine.

Comments6

  • yellowrose

    I’m sorry you feel scared . I understand what it’s like to feel scared … and to want something different but to fear making change

    This a good poem and you have expressed yourself very well

    Maybe one day you can move past the fear ?

    Writing can be a nice escape

    • Nicholas Browning

      Thank you for the kind words, Rose. It's always difficult to just throw it out there, but sometimes you gotta do it for yourself. I've always struggled with having goals, or a "Dream." But I think now I've got a nice idea. I'll stop by and say hello on my way to Scotland lol.

      • yellowrose

        🙂 same here … goals , I don’t feel I have enough of them . Sometimes I feel like I’m somehow drifting along in life but not getting far enough .

        Your welcome to message me if you want a chat .

        Take care

      • Paul Bell

        Sometimes goals just present themselves without actually having to achieve them. Must admit, I never set goals, they just lead to disappointment.

        • Nicholas Browning

          Words of wisdom my friend. They are appreciated.

        • Robert Haigh

          We can become creatures of habit, and get stuck in a few ruts, but we have the choice to make change, even if it scares us sometimes. We all make mistakes along the line, but we should never be afraid to fail (easier said than done, I know). A wise man once said: "Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker." We all have failure in common. But if we fail enough times we eventually start to succeed. A good write.

          • Nicholas Browning

            Failure is one of the greatest teachers, second only to pain in my book. People need to learn from their own mistakes before they can willfully change, and yeah it's a lot easier said than done for sure. There are a lot of things that murk the mind and get in the way, but eventually maybe that's what makes the difference. Thanks for the feedback Robert. Much appreciated.

          • spilleronsheet

            The words so pure
            Yet people taint them as rebel
            I don’t know how find them liberal
            They questions my thoughts
            They question my dreams
            Maybe the failures should stop me
            Yet my heart isn’t willing to give up
            I don’t know why but your lines made more a rebel
            I wish to be more and more committed to the dreams that keep me awake

          • spilleronsheet

            Well crafted dear poet

            • Nicholas Browning

              Thank you very much Spill. I'm thrilled it could rotate the good ole mind cogs.

              • spilleronsheet

                It surely did

              • Garth Rakumakoe

                The windmills of the mind, so perfectly articulated. It's a beautiful piece sir. Bravo.



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