My Dearest

My Dearest,

Since you left, almost a year ago,

I promised myself, that I'll be better.

I'll be better for you, because

If it were up to me, I'd be gone.

No one said, it'll be this hard.

But He chose you, and you went with Him.

I wasn't there for you at the time,

And I still regret it every day.

I had my reasons,

But none of it was good enough.

I was self-absorbed,

I was caught up in my own mess –

Nonetheless I feel it still, in my bones.

I feel the love that kept us apart.

I keep your letters close to my heart,

I read it over and over –

Perhaps for the thousand time,

I'll find something new in it.

Tell me, will it be easier someday?

Did I make you go away?

I need some answers.

For the time being

Yours - A