100% Natural psyllium husk...

rew4er2nail

insync, especially with Amitiza delivered solid ecstasy

 

Without shadow of doubt

I feel much relief

though literally pooped out

attested courtesy following

(oft posted poem
written some years ago
in short self plagiarism),
where funhouse mirror

 

humorously distorts physique

disproportionately skinny or stout
as though plagued
with excess adipose tissue

in reality paunch throughout
abdominal area mine

self evident yours truly

generic guy does not work out.

 

As of early/mid afternoon
today - November 30th, 2021

I could not but barely move

mine whole body felt
analogous to sluggish mollusk
frequent constipation found me

doubled over in gastrointestinal agony

as if elephant or red (livid with rage)

 

I've re: created how bull
heaver in fiber thrust his tusk

into lower abdominal area dawn to dusk

ah...voila... hence subsequently
blessed natural laxative,

the magic of Daily Fiber

100% natural psyllium husk
also known as metamucil.

 

Upon sprinkling two doses powder pack,

which orange flavor sweetened

the missus mishmash pop slop

not aesthetically pleasing major drawback

heavy as a full coalsack

sometimes burned and scorched black

movement came swift, on par how fast

snaky Mister Plumber doth attack

obstructed potty bowl.

 

Well now... monumental poetic challenge,

I now craftily abbreviate

(think clogged toilet synonymous with blockage) 

waste matter after days did accumulate

ready to apply corkerasp*
regarding rectal blockage to alleviate.

Imagine impossible mission to defecate

which debilitating scenario mine accursed fate

frequently recurring more often as yours truly
i.e. latter day saint Matthew Scott got older
rectal affliction compromised me

ordinary easy going demeanor

disallowing, disenabling, and not permitting

me - effecting, emulating, and exhaling
Tony the tiger's catchword grrrrrreat

 

if queried about my constitution

absolute ecstasy found me

expelling bowel movement

weighing approximately hundredweight

though relieved, nevertheless

the toilet bowl clogged,

correcting historical records

on two accounts despite

causing potential ruckus

disaster buffs may incriminate

 

nsync notion huge bowel movement
(mine) took down (analogous
voyage to bottom of sea) toto Lusitania

and actually additionally

caused separate incident

complex edifice (think Titanic)
both sturdy ships of state

former rendered

latter purportedly crashing

into iceberg me mate.

 

------------------------------------------------

 

*Lemme explain the essence of a corkerasp

 

Whenever constipation a pain in the ass

just maneuver this lightweight
metal contrivance made of brass

no matter if anybody
considers this action crass

 

apply corkscrew motion up the
alimentary canal to remove waste

which most likely will be
thick like petrified paste

stuck deep inside bowels of the
sphincter muscles and solidly encased

 

causing severe cramps within
lower gastrointestinal tract

inducing one to wince nonstop
from being with fecal matter packed

and no amount of primal groaning
doth loose this hard fact

 

nor does imagery of freed turd

ease the anal plight

no laughing matter despite how absurd

squeezing does nothing even
applying all inner might

 

thus necessary to incorporate
unnatural intervention to unclog

rectal blockage + uncomfortable bloating
swelling anus the size of a hog

disabling barely any ease to stand let alone jog

yet tis essential per extricating what
feels like one swallow a log

lest epitaph induce impossible eulogy
unless spoken the language of Prague.

 

Every ounce of effort
required to bend

over gingerly affixing
plunger end of device
to business rear end

best accompanied with close
companion or friend

since dirty deed done dirt
cheap trick will ideally rend

rock solid excrement to roll
and crashing sound send

 

upon the bathroom floor

possibly inducing seismic
waves less or more

whereby toilet bowl water will pour

over the sides akin to
white caps near sea shore

without doubt making
gluteus maximus extremely sore.

  • Author: rew4er2nail (Offline Offline)
  • Published: November 30th, 2021 17:00
  • Category: Humor
  • Views: 11
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