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I carried your pain like a mother carries her child for nine months..

I let it grow inside me

 

I breathed life into it

Until it tore through me
— I was feeling for two.

 

Weight of burdens that did not belong to me,

Because they were too heavy for you.

 

I felt for you until

I couldn’t feel for myself anymore.

 

— A vessel for unwanted pain.

A cycle repeated again and again,

No sight of the light at the end of the tunnel,

Or a happy end,

A smile crafted in a game of play-pretend,

A cry for help no louder than a whisper,

Pleading eyes at my older sister,

Who never knew the abuse that missed her.

 

I have lived a thousand lives,

And there have been a thousand me’s
— each created for another person I tried to please.

I tried to plead.

But no one could hear me.