Caged

It feels like I’m in a cage.

I’m trapped in my own body waiting for a way out. The way the pain swirls through my body everyday is uncanny. Some days are worse than others but everyday there’s pain. Everyday my body seems to betray me.  It tears me apart from the inside like a lion does to its prey. It’s agonizing it’s defeating. Is this my punishment have I enraged God so much that he just  watches me suffer not willing to help.  I’ve screamed. I’ve cried but it just continues so I just sit in it. I take it as it swallows me whole.  I take it as it electrifies my spine. I feel it as it hits every joint muscle and nerve from my feet to my head and I let it run through me until it passes.

I cherish the good days more now because the bad days are waiting in the dark midst like Jason ready to break me and make me lose all hope but I won’t be defeated