On the first day of Christmas, my true love said to me, I think that’s the police up there. So I drove them up against a pear tree.
On the second day of Christmas, forensics were at my door, haha, I don’t live there any more.
On the third day of Christmas, a nationwide search was out for me, they would never find me, I was hiding up a pear tree.
On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love called to say, why are there four birds calling you, what the hell is going on.
On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love texted to say, a reward of five gold rings is on your head.
On the sixth day of Christmas, I was joined by two turtle-doves, not forgetting that bloody partridge, who was really doing my box in.
On the seventh day of Christmas, the turtle-doves thanked me for the meal, with the words, the partridge would have loved this. Didn’t have the heart to tell them.
On the eighth day of Christmas, I laid into six geese with a half brick, now I really was hating birds, would die for a fish.
On the ninth day of Christmas, I caught the turtle-doves playing around with three French hens, a hand grenade put paid to that.
On the tenth day of Christmas I got turned on by eight maids a milking, though this was short-lived when I was attacked by seven swans a swimming.
On the eleventh day of Christmas, feckin drummers turned up, followed by eleven pipers, ten lords trying to leap nine ladies of the night. Fuck sakes, man, do these people know who they’re dealing with.
On the twelfth day of Christmas, I awoke from a drunken dream. My god, the wife screamed, somebody’s massacred the partridge, what the hell are we going to do now, there’s only fish left to eat.
Only fish left to eat,
Oh God, thank you for my Christmas treat….
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Comments8
Some dream what were you drinking the night before lol.
Moonshine I think.
'treeeeeeeeeeEEEEEat!'
and that's exactly
what your read
just gifted, me
meeeeeeeEEEEEEEee! lol
love the fun, thank you!
(forgive my spelling theatrics
and overzealous nature
had dreams of being a Tenor)
I would just like to sing. lol
Haha very funny!
Did you enjoy that.
Yeah it was enjoyable to read 🙂 Nice work.
Nice one Paul
A very unusual event so
Well described, kept me at a edge
What is it ?
Is it a mystery and how finally you stringed in wonders
Left me laughing till the jaw hurts
A great one dear poet
That choir won't sing that again outside my door.
Good write Paul. lol.
There's load of gifts:
Day1: 1
Day 2: 2 +1
Day 3: 3+2+1, etc
If you follow me 'algebra' there?! lol.
The song goes, e.g. 2 turtle doves AND a partridge, etc.
I worked it out that after Day 12 that's 364 gifts! lol.
I'm using this as my next poem, the shorthand version.
made me larf out loud & I can still feel it in me extremities ...................... N
You need a laugh fighting your way through the stores.
oh keep it up..... Better than Monty Python......
Nothing's better than Monty Python.
In saying that, sometimes the bar I go to do go a bit pythony at times.
Hilarious! Thanks!
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