In an empty parking lot
Alone with my thoughts, I tear them to shreds
Little morsels, little blue ribbons
Little beacons I snuff, little birds fluttering
A criminal prayer, the loneliness dilates
When you're not there, in my head
I'm writing a poem, I'm tearing it apart
The bedlam inside me, haunted by shadows
Names carved on trees, indelible smudges
The rapid succession, sunrays brighter
Than the trembling white of snowfall
I try to pay it no mind, and think
If only I was a little faster
If only I didn't stop to take the picture
In the howling moonlight's reflection
But I'm a baby to all that darkness
Dark kisses making life bright
Crystallised in the light of a dark sky
First love ignites me
Tonight I see no butterflies or rainbows
No tattoos of loved ones, no Madonna, no pilgrims
Just me on this lonely road
Burning with a rising fever, the peachy purr
Intense orange whirlwind of storms
Blowing through this place, Peripatetic spirit
Bloated, wilted, cold fingers
Doing the night dance, ageless soul tortured
Bending willows in magic forests
Petrichor always, requiems in new-born August
Speaking in riddles, filling holes with misinformation
Cocaine and arcade games, wounded deer sculpting words
I love you but it's never enough
Stumbling drunken mess, so fucking stupid
Water lilly drifting but I'm through with it
Dirty shoes and worn in clothes, lost coins in city ponds
Pushed to the edge, I drink milk and my charms fade
Like a beautiful dream I don't want to forget
I'm almost oblivious to the lights
I block them out like little squashy dots
Like the pain when you get fucked till it hurts
And the fatigue barely makes a dent
I've been awake for so long
My eyes grow wild with excitement
The winds are soft brushing against my cheek
Like sweet memories of autumn
I take no notice of the cars, they leave like fathers
The neon flash of cityscapes, abrupt
Dark blue punching the skyline
I am in my own little fantasy world
Clawing at the roots of destiny
I see blurred faces shining vaguely
I look at my phone and it says midnight
Projections in the mind's inner spiral of thoughts
I hear a voice in my mind saying yes
Yes, yes.
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Author:
Jordan Cash (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: December 9th, 2021 20:50
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 41
- Users favorite of this poem: L. B. Mek
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Comments2
"Yes; yes, yes."
Good work. I felt emotions I can't quite put my finger on, but they seem deeply rooted in the human experience. Keep it up, my friend
My mind saying yes so frequently is giving into (specifically) sexual thoughts. Quite frankly perverted, homosexual thoughts. Sometimes I am overwhelmed by elevated feelings and I'll find myself getting a random erection in awkward situations because I always seem to be thinking about fucking (men) and getting fucked. The line came naturally, but honestly, maybe I was subconsciously inspired by The Sensual World by Kate Bush. Perhaps so, because I've always loved the romantic poetry of that song. In the song she repeats 'mmh yes' quite seductively, almost as if she wants a taste of forbidden fruit. The song is also heavily inspired by Molly Bloom's speech in the ending of Ulysses.
But when I was thinking of the ending Yes, I was out for a walk. It was dark and the streets were wet with rain. It was night and suddenly my dick was hard because I was thinking about an older man fucking me, and maybe abashed at myself or embarrassed because I could see the flash of headlights coming towards me and I had a raging boner, but I didn\'t even care. I was just thinking yes.
I hope you can find a way to not be ashamed of your thoughts. Sexuality is a complicated and important part of being human. Even if you don't identify as homosexual, you shouldn't be ashamed of such thoughts. I hope you manage to reconcile with your sexuality, and eventually find love - with a man, a woman, or anything in between. Wishing you peace, my friend.
Maybe you misunderstood me? My mind has always been established as gay, and I have no qualms with my sexuality. I love men and I'm happy being gay! I actually write a lot of homoerotic driven pieces. In fact, Arthur Rimbaud and Oscar Wilde are some of my biggest muses. When I said in my explanation/response maybe I was abashed or embarrassed, it was because my dick was throbbing and there was a plethora of cars coming towards me, lol. I sort of thought, oh shit, they're gonna be able to tell my dick is hard, but then I didn't even care. It was probably my own insecurity. The moment was fleeting and I found the humour in it.
Sorry; I did misunderstand you, then! I'm pleased to hear you are comfortable with who you are - or at least that part of you; of course, we are all multi-faceted. Fleeting moments of embarassment often make for the best memories and stories to tell, at least in my experience. I apologise for my misinterpretation of your comment
Sir, there's no need for an apology. I just wanted to clear things up. I like being transparent. Sympathy is understanding. 'Fleeting moments of embarrassment often make for the best memories', I really do resonate with this. Sometimes I think I might take myself too seriously, and that I used to be more fun when I was a teenager, and that my personality may have suffered because of it, which sucks. You do seem like you're coming from a place of wisdom, which I admire. Anyway, it's nearly 5 a.m. for me in Scotland. I'm going to listen to some music and sleep. Goodnight and cya around.
My friend, your transparency to a stranger on the internet is admirable. Your kind words have made my night. It's past 4am here in England anyway so I shouldv'e been asleep some time ago. Have a good night my Scottish friend. I hope to see more of your work soon.
Likewise ♥♥♥
I take no notice of the cars, they leave like fathers . Very powerful metaphor showing a deeper meaning towards the pain within your poem
♥♥♥
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