Can Hijras (transgender) speak?

"Can Hijras (transgender) speak?

India is where I was born.

I was born a male.

But I became female.

I don’t have any male characters.

Such as male chauvinism and rape culture,

Dowry, beating women, killing, violence, moral policing,

Infanticides among women of the same caste.

I am not with muscles, a moustache, and a beard, or imposing Sati,

Patriarchal symbols or characters

I am a staunch equalitarian and egalitarian.

Unlike males and females,

I don’t like any male behavior.

I feel femininity in my daily life.

My every feeling is my femininity.

I wear a saree.

I don’t wear pants.

But it is against my culture.

But it is against my Indian ideology.

But it is against my Indian way of life.

We have sacred rules and regulations for boys and girls.

Those rules are driving our everyday lives.

They are our divinity.

We can’t break them.

We can’t breach them.

Breaching is a crime.

The crime carries death punishment.

Stepping outside the lines is a violation of sacred rules.

Breaching carries lynching.

Just like Haryana's Jhajjar lynching

We can’t question them.

We can’t cross them.

But my internal feelings

My identity

My strong desire

My feminity

My female features

My feminine feelings

My desire to join my Trans

I am transcending.

I am transcendent.

I am transgender.

Trans-soul is what I am.

I am a trans-body.

I am trans.

I adore Trans people.

We are all trans at some point in our lives.

My walk is different.

My body is different.

My appearance is different.

My talk is different.

My expressions are different.

My way of behaving is different.

Everything is different from them.

But they are not valuing my identity.

They do not respect my inner

They are forcing me to act.

My wife is a female.

She said I was impotent.

I am not a good match for women.

She told me I was a liar.

I did not deceive her.

It’s an arranged marriage.

Like any Indian marriage,

She should question her family.

She should question the marriage system.

She should question the deep-rooted evil of the marriage system.

Instead, she humiliated me.

She insulted me for the system.

Because she can’t question the system,

The system will eliminate her.

Like half a billion women's lives,

She is a byproduct of the system.

My parents, her parents, civil society, and pundits cheated her.

Like me, she is a victim of the system.

Everyone knows about me, including your family, my family and pundits.

However, they took a large sum of money from my family.

If they did not inform you about my impotence,

It's not my fault.

It's our system's fault.

Our system is built on repressive ideology

Of which we are all victims.

She left me.

Who will understand my humiliation?

She insulted me.

My parents are feeling shame.

They are getting insults from everyone.

Everyone is laughing at me.

They are showing their teeth.

I am their fun.

I am their fun toy.

My parents left me.

My brother left me.

My village left me.

My town left me.

My city left me.

My religion left me.

My pundits did not give me admission to study.

Pundits worship me in the form of stone.

But in reality, they buried me.

My public school refused to admit me.

Wherever I go, I am the talk of the moment.

I want to study

But government schools rejected me.

Public parks are not allowing me to sit like any normal person.

I am not normal to them.

I am abnormal to them.

I am facing humiliation every moment.

I joined my loving community.

I joined their begging profession.

My name is Hijra.

Whatever my name is,

I am not allowed to study, work, or live.

I am allowed to beg in the streets, but with stone-pelting.

The stones are breaking my head,

Stones are blinding my eyes.

The stones are suffocating me.

Humiliation, insult, violence, persecution are granted to my body.

I am their toy.

I am begging and begging.

Many of my friends are losing their organs and lives to stone-pelting.

Boys and men are stone-pelting us.

Women are cracking jokes on me.

The police are deafeningly quiet.

Courts are silent.

Indian movies are playing on us.

They do not have any humanity.

They are not humans.

They are lions, tigers, anacondas, hyenas, etc.

They are attacking me publicly.

I want to live a life with self-respect and dignity.

But how in a society where there is no civilization?

In a society where there is no John Rawls

In a society where there is no Noam Chomsky,

In a society where there is no Slavoj Zizek

In a society where there is no Socrates,

In a society where there is no John Stuart Mill,

How to survive?

How can I protect my life?

How to live with respect and dignity?

Where are those dignity projects?

Where are those rights projects?

We are jokers in their eyes.

We are not humans.

We are sub-humans.

We are just voting.

We want education.

We want to attend school without fear of humiliation.

Death is far better than humiliation.

Humiliation is an ontological wound.

I can invite death, but not humiliation.

I want dignity.

I'd like to have it for myself.

I want respect.

I want formal equality.

I want to live with self-respect and dignity.

I want to speak English like anyone else.

But now when I am not allowed into public schools,

How can I speak and write an English letter?

Forget private schools.

Both public and private schools become "Agraharas."

I don’t have the basic education to write my life story.

How can I write polished articles in theory?

How can I compete with English-speaking Indians?

How can I compete with English-writing Indians? ’

How can people expect me to be like Mulkaraj Anand?

How can people expect me to be like other Indian Nobel laureates?

When I am not allowed into schools,

Forget colleges and universities.

None of the Indian theorists, Mulkaraj Anand, or Nobel laureates addressed me in their "purity" writings or speeches.

Because I am an impure human being

I am not permitted to attend elementary school.

Mulkaraj Anand and other Indian Nobel laureates were born into hegemonic Brahmin castes.

Their Brahmin castes put a sacred rule on me: not to allow me inside public schools.

The British are not going to let me go.

Europeans are not here to allow me inside the school.

Colonial rules are not here to be allowed into basic education.

Our brown and black rules are practicing sacred rules.

Brahmins' Rules for Males and Females

Ours is a Ram Rajya government.

Historically, Ram Rajya was a violent ideology.

Historically, Krishna Rajya was a violent theory.

A violent theory and ideology against sub-subaltern groups.

Ram Rajya banned me from their basic education.

The British Raj allowed me to enter school in Britain.

I don't need Ram Rajya, but I do need the British Raj.

I want a basic education.

How can I get a degree from Cambridge University when I don’t have a basic education?

How can I publish books with Oxford University Press when my sacred rules ban me from learning?

Everyone is praising India's incredible performance, which banned me from learning and reading.

Can I speak now about being a transgender?

My name is Hijra"

Dr. Suryaraju Mattimalla B.A.,M.A.,M.Phil.,Ph.D(History)

Author of "Why I Am Not Indian: The Untouchable Rejecting India's Citizenship"

(https://www.amazon.de/-/en/Suryaraju-Mattimalla-ebook/dp/B09MDXFTY2/ref=sr_1_2?qid=1637756966&qsid=261-0591308-5553230&refinements=p_27%3ASuryaraju+Mattimalla&s=digital-text&sr=1-2&sres=B09MDZM1Q2%2CB09MDXFTY2&text=Suryaraju+Mattimalla)

Author of  “Dalit/Untouchable Anthology: Untouchable Lived Experiences” (https://www.amazon.de/-/en/Suryaraju-Mattimalla/dp/B09M5B7XVS/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=Dalit%2FUntouchable+Anthology&qid=1638451224&sr=8-1)

Author of “An Intellectual History of Anti-Caste Philosophers in India: A Study on Babasaheb Dr.B.R.Ambedkar” (https://www.amazon.de/-/en/Suryaraju-Mattimalla/dp/B09M785T3S/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=An+intelectual+history+of+anti-caste+philosophers+in+indien%3A+A+study+on+Babasaheb+Dr.B.R.Ambedkar&qid=1638746824&sr=8-1)

Blog: DALIT ACADEMIC MAFIA (https://dalitacademicmafia.blogspot.com)

Blog: TIGRAY GENOCIDE IN ETHIOPIA (dejazamtchnegussebezabih.blogspot.com),

Published poems by Dr.Suryaraju Mattimalla at My poetic side 

Twitter:  Dr Suryaraju Mattimalla (@DrMattimalla) / Twitter, 

Facebook: Surya Raju Mattimalla | Facebook

E-mail:[email protected]