The Bottle

Paul Bell

Right, I want you to put all your negative thoughts into a bottle.
What sort of bottle.
Doesn’t matter what sort.
Vodka bottle do.
Jesus, yes.
Okay, I've run out of room.
You’re so predictable.
Just like you last night, standards are dropping.
That’s because I knew you were coming for a session today.
Think how I feel, all my thoughts in a bottle of Vodka.
Maybe I should hypnotise you.
How do I know you won’t interfere with me, you read about these things.
Take my word for it, I’m going to send you to sleep, then I’m going to join you.
How does that help me if we’re both asleep, you got a bit of telepathy going on here.
Yes, I’m going to put you into a trance, see if we can find you another guy.
What sort of guy are we talking about, I mean, I’ve already hit rock bottom with you.
Well, in that case, we should be able to fix you up quite quickly.
I don’t know what if he doesn’t understand my quirky sense of humour.
He’ll dump you then.
What, can he do that, just discard me, and me a broken woman already.
Afraid so, but then you can find another guy, and another.
My God, I’ll be the talk of the town, my bottle will be overflowing.
Just relax, breathe in, breathe out, stop doing that.
Doing what.
You’re thrusting your chest out, do you know what sort of guy that’ll attract.
Someone like you.
You don’t want to attract someone like me, you want someone dynamic, someone who’ll take you away from all this.
Have you got someone in mind?
Yes, I was talking to this nice chap in the Asylum yesterday.
Why is he in the Asylum.
He killed a snail.
My God, they put you in the Asylum for that.
No, he’s in for using a flamethrower.
What’s the snail got to do with it.
That was the trigger point.
So what happens if I upset him, and it triggers something, and he goes mad.
It won’t, I told him to put all his negative thoughts into your bottle.

  • Author: Paul Bell (Pseudonym) (Offline Offline)
  • Published: December 24th, 2021 05:38
  • Category: Humor
  • Views: 23
  • Users favorite of this poem: L. B. Mek
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Comments +

Comments3

  • L. B. Mek

    'Vodka bottle do.
    Jesus, yes.
    Okay, I've run out of room.
    You’re so predictable.
    Just like you last night, standards are dropping.'
    😄
    'Take my word for it, I’m going to send you to sleep, then I’m going to join you.
    How does that help me if we’re both asleep, you got a bit of telepathy going on here.
    Yes, I’m going to put you into a trance, see if we can find you another guy.
    What sort of guy are we talking about, I mean, I’ve already hit rock bottom with you.'
    😁
    'Just relax, breathe in, breathe out, stop doing that.
    Doing what.
    You’re thrusting your chest out, do you know what sort of guy that’ll attract.
    Someone like you.'
    😂
    'Why is he in the Asylum.
    He killed a snail.
    My God, they put you in the Asylum for that.
    No, he’s in for using a flamethrower.
    What’s the snail got to do with it.
    That was the trigger point.
    So what happens if I upset him, and it triggers something, and he goes mad.
    It won’t, I told him to put all his negative thoughts into your bottle.'
    🤣
    (Happy holidays, dear poet
    what a gift, I'm literally
    LMAO!)

    • Paul Bell

      You too, L.B. Have a great time.

    • spilleronsheet

      A round tale
      Walking in dreams
      Merry Christmas dear Paul
      In between i have put my thoughts in an empty bottle
      Waiting for genie to appear

      • Paul Bell

        Genie on the way, well, after she's finished her shift in the Rose and Crown.
        Have a great Christmas, hope Santa's on the ball.

      • Rozina

        Vodka fumes from the genie in the bottle? By the way not even a cordless vacuum with instructions. Merry X'mas.



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